On Set Love •Joseph Quinn•

018

"Hello?" his voice rings though the phone, confusion laced within it. I freeze. What should I say? Hey, you know how you're desperate to get away from me? Surprise! I might be carrying our baby! "Are you there?" his voice is scratchy and rough, like I just woke him up, or something.

"I-I need you to come over," I say. He doesn't say anything for a moment, which is suspected. I mean we've hardly talked outside of character for the last month, and now I suddenly need him to come over.

"What's going on?" he asks. I squeeze my eyes shut and I take a deep breath, here goes nothing:

"I think I'm pregnant and I can't take the test alone," I say, my words tumbling out fast. He doesn't say anything at first, and I thought he hung up, before he finally responds.

"O-Okay. I'm on my way." and with that, he hangs up. Well that was easier than I thought.

I stare down at the tiny box in my hands. Like I said before, I cannot be pregnant right now. If I am, and I start showing it'd be hard to hide that for the show, making things very complicated.

I shouldn't worry until there's something to worry about, I remind myself. I don't need to get myself anxious about something that might not even be happening. But it's not really working. All I can think about are hypotheticals—the worst being that I'd have to do this all alone.

A knock is heard at my door and I rush to open it. Joseph is standing there in sweatpants and a t-shirt, one that I had bought for him at the store because I thought he would like it. 

I haven't felt this awkward around Joseph since we first met. It's like the months we spent being best friends, and a little more, are all erased and we're back at square one. But there's bigger things to worry about besides our dead relationship. I move aside to let him inside the apartment and shut the door, not a word spoken between the two of us.

"So, um-how are we-how do you-" he stops speaking, not knowing what to say. I realize what he's asking.

"I'll go um-take the test, I just need you to be here with me. I... I don't want to do it alone," I say softly. I look at the ground, not being able to look him in the eyes.

"Okay, I'll wait here," he says. I nod and bring the box with me to the bathroom. I take the test and put the cap over it before walking back out to him.

"So now we just wait seven minutes," I say as if we're waiting for something to get out of the oven.

We sit down with our backs against the wall—the silence swallowing us whole. Seven minutes has never felt so long. Joseph wraps his arm around me and pulls my body closer to his. I freeze for a moment, surprised by his action. I don't want to give into it. He hurt me. He doesn't care about me. He doesn't love me. But I don't listen to myself, even though I know that I should. I snuggle into him, letting his scent overwhelm my senses. Fuck, I missed this. I missed him. The sound of his beating heart calms my raging nerves. I shouldn't be letting him do this, but I can't stop. I have no willpower when it comes to him, and I hate it. But sadly it's true, and I can't help it.

"If... if you're pregnant, would you keep it?" he asks suddenly. I briefly look down at the timer, and realize that there's still five minutes left. It's felt like hours of waiting and it's been two fucking minutes.

"I think so. It's not convenient, but I... I get attached easily, and I don't think that I could go through with not keeping it, if that makes sense." I feel him nod.

"Okay... whatever you want to do is okay with me,"

"You don't have to be involved if you don't want to. I won't go after you or anything,"