A Pearl In The Oyster ☑️

38. Le clair de lune - The Moonlight

Fortunately, tonight was a full moon night. The moon rose in its full glory, illuminating the lake and its surroundings in a faint light. The dainty form of it enchanted me, and I finally got to see the moon's reflection swimming in the lake. Soft moonlight danced around its reflection, making it look absolutely ethereal.

"Wow," was all I could say, as we watched the moon together in silence.

However, the silence didn't last for long. André asked me a question. A rather difficult one, at that.

"What about you? How did you end up taking my dad's offer?"

I knew it was supposed to be addressed, considering he had seen my sick mama. I'd wanted to keep that part of my life a secret, but now that André too, had bared himself in front of me, it was harder to resist. The sentimental atmosphere acted as a great catalyst, and before I knew it, I started spilling things about my past life.

"My father was an alcoholic and a gambling addict. He must have spent more time in cheap bars and gambling houses than with his family. But I was happy with it. Whenever he came home, it was hell. Beating mama and me, throwing tantrums – he stopped at nothing.

"Ever since I was a kid, I never understood him. Why did he drink so much? Why did he gamble when we barely had any money? Why did he beat his own wife and daughter? I was always afraid and terrified of him, and wished he would never show up.

"Of course, life isn't a bed of roses. Our debts started increasing, mama struggled to earn for us both and whatever was left, he took it away. I was an outcast in school, labeled as the daughter of the gambler.

"Finally, just before I was about to enter college, he died at the hands of the people he owed money to. But they didn't leave us alone. I had to pay for my college as well as these people, and in the middle of it all, mama got sick. So yeah, my life has pretty much been... shifty."

It felt good to let it all out. This wasn't something I could tell anyone, not even Lily. But somehow, the words flowed easily in front of André. Maybe because he was always so transparent with me, I wasn't scared he would judge me anymore.

And he didn't. At least, not for my story. "Did you just... swear?" He asked instead, making me chuckle.

"Is that all you can say? That's... quite a way to comfort someone."

"It's just that I've never heard such words from you. I just can't believe someone would have to go through such hell from childhood. It makes me feel ashamed of myself."

I looked at him, and found out he had spoken sincerely. "You don't have to, everyone has different circumstances. Nobody chooses the home they want to be born in, so it's not anyone's fault."

"The debt, how much was it?" He asked me again.

"Close to a million euros, including the debts I took for my college and mama's sickness," I replied.

"That's... a lot."

As he said that, I laughed again. I didn't know why, but those scars from the past didn't seem to be so painful in the present. It could be because I'd now paid all my debt. It could be because I'd grown up a lot since then. It could be because I had André's warmth beside me.

I was suddenly turned and held by the shoulders. Facing André, I saw how he turned serious. "It's not natural, and it's definitely your dad's fault for being so irresponsible and vicious. I know we can't bring the past back, but don't just try to laugh it off. Because of him, you now have immense insecurity, trust issues and a debt you could never pay on your own. On top of that, you decided to give a year of your life to a stranger, who could possibly turn out to be worse than him."

His grey irises were reflecting the moon in this position, and I saw two miniature white spheres floating in them. He was uber serious as he said those words, and proved to me once again, how sharp he was.

Nothing left his hawk like eyes, and I both loved and hated it. I loved it because he had seen so much about me without me having to say a word, but it also meant my innermost thoughts, desires and vulnerabilities were on a pedestal for him to notice, analyze and understand.

"But I'm not going to be like him. I've been too insensitive towards you, and God knows how much I fucking regret it. For the one year we have left, I might get angry, I might fight with you over stupid things, but I'm never gonna lay a single finger on you. And I will protect you from every motherfucker who even tries to look your way."

I wanted to smile. I wanted to show him I was really okay. But I realized it now, I'd been suppressing everything until it became a dull sensation at the back of my mind. Now that André had made me admit to my fears and pain, it opened a fresh batch of tears.

I'd stopped crying over my pathetic fate years ago, but I couldn't do so anymore. Breaking down, I sobbed as André held me against his warm chest. Time flied by, but I didn't stop. These tears were years of repressed emotions falling out, and even I didn't know they existed inside me.

Once my sobs quietened down, I distanced myself from him. But he had no intentions of doing so. Cupping my cheeks, he wiped away the tears from them. I suddenly felt conscious and shy, and I think he must have caught onto it. He was always too quick to a fault.

He lifted my face by the chin, and what I saw took my breath away. It was the same from the night of our engagement. The dilated pupils and that hungry look. It was so surprise that he was going to kiss me, but would I be able to handle another kiss from him?

Slowly, he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. This time, it was a gentle kiss. Maybe I could endure this one. I could taste his signature whiskey on him, and I sighed. I could do familiarity.

He pulled me closer, and I weaved my fingers in his soft hair. He intertwined his lips with mine, and I felt those sensations coming back. My whole body felt lit up like a thousand candles, and I felt alive. A soft breeze blew, and I shivered in the cold. Goosebumps spread on my skin, making my arms tremble. Or maybe it was the effect of his kiss.

One thing was clear, that he wouldn't stop kissing me since the first time was definitely not a mistake. And secondly, he was practically a God of kissing. I didn't have any prior experience, but reading all those romance books told me that he kissed just like those main characters did.

Soft and sweet, gentle and needy. One that would have your toes curling out of the saccharine torture. But it was a torture you welcomed wholeheartedly.

Damn right, I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want the night to end. I wanted to drown in his kisses forever. I wanted this moonlight to flow until eternity.

♣︎ ♣︎ ♣︎