DEAR ROSALIND, ᵖᵃⁿˢʸ ᵖᵃʳᵏⁱⁿˢᵒⁿ ✔︎

† loser

june 2, 1998

rosy,

draco was so cruel today. he's been cruel for so long now. he drinks constantly, never without a flask or a water bottle of vodka. i think he's taken a dive into the harder stuff, and i don't know how to help.

he told me i was the reason you were gone. as if i hadn't been blaming myself all this time.

he told me i was "a self loathing pathetic loser." i didn't fight the subject.

blaise and him got into it. i think blaise has a black eye to prove it.

you were our glue rosy. you pulled the boys apart when they got pissy. you let millie copy your homework every time she forgot. which was like, all the time.

you kept me together rosy. you held me after nightmares, you made me a heating pad and chocolate pudding when my cycle was bothering me. you kissed my worries away. you sang on tables and horrifically embarrassed yourself just to cheer me up.

you loved me more than anyone ever will.

i don't know how you found me lovable. you were rosalind fucking rowle. you were beautiful and unachievable and somehow i had you.

you smiled at me. you kissed me. you knew my body so well you could touch me with the lights off on the days i hated myself. you bandaged my wounds and cooked for me.

i love you, rosy. i think i always always will.

forever my love,
pansy