Lucian

Chapter 1

[Madelyn]

"Can I kiss you before you leave for work?" I ask and wrap my arms around Nick's neck before I look into his eyes. Is this how far things have gone? I ask him for kisses now? I shouldn't have to. We shouldn't be like this.

"Sure." Nick dips down his head for me and I stand on my tippy toes. I kiss him on the lips. Just a small peck. I'm not sure how much he's okay with. I'm not going to do the same mistake twice. Only a fool would.

"Okay...see you after work." I whisper after removing my lips from his. I tug on his lower lip with my teeth but instantly stop. He doesn't like when I do stuff like that. He never does.

"See you later, babe." He doesn't know what I don't like. I don't like when he calls me that. I don't even like 'baby' but 'babe' is on another level. It's like you don't even put in the effort to finish the word 'baby' so you just say 'babe'. He doesn't even look me in the eyes when he leaves. He just turns around and walks away.

I lock the door after him. A tear slips from my eye but I wipe it away with my fingers and make my way to the shower. Good morning to me.

I open the door to the spacious, bright bathroom and don't bother closing it. I'm the only one home anyway. I strip my clothes and ignore the full body mirror in front of me. I walk to the other side of the bathroom and turn on the shower instead. Hot water is pouring down the shower head. I select the rain setting before walking inside the shower. I need music.

"Hey Alexa! Can you pay 'Madelyn's playlist'?" A short bleep and the music is on. Rihana. Icon. I step under the water and let it soak me. I let the hot water soak up my hair and calm down my nerves.
"Oohh- cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air I don't care I love the smell of it! Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and wipe excite me!" I start screaming the lyrics through the fog that's now rising in the shower. Okay I'm not the best at singing. But I'm not half bad. I mean I pretty much suck at it but it's something I enjoy. Singing. Not sucking-

I grab the vanilla shampoo and the body wash and begin lubricating them both into my body. I'm not even thinking about my husband anymore. Or anything. Besides the lyrics of this text.

"Incoming call from 'Nick'." Alexa says, making the music stop. My ringtone is ringing and I sigh. I want to tell her to ignore but Nick always gets so mad at me. I wash out the rest of the foam from my head instead. I turn of the shower and squeeze out the last bit of remaining water from my hair. I grab the towel on the hanger next to me and dry my body with it. "Incoming call from 'Nick'." Alexa speaks again.

"Jesus, I'm coming." I drop the towel and begin walking towards my phone on the counter. I press the answer button and press the phone to my ear.

"Mads?" Nick does sound that mad to my surprise. "Maddy?" Okay now he's slightly mad.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." I look at a painting hanging on the hallway wall. It's a pretty painting Nick bought for me as a wedding gift. I didn't know he had good taste.

"My boss is coming over to our house to pick up an envelope with some work related stuff in it. Can you give it to him? It's in my office. He'll be there any second." I nod, quickly realizing he can't see me.

"Of course. I'll do it." I wait for him to say anything else but the line goes quiet. "Okay...I l- see you." I end the call. I don't know why I can't say it. I've never told him that I love him... he knows why. He says he understands. I don't think he does and I don't either. I've just never been able to express myself like that. My parents never told each other- or me that they love us. I guess I just grew up thinking it was a weird phrase. So I don't think I ever have used it. Even though he has told me numerous times that he loves me I've never been able to say it back.