All that is dark | ✓

13| innocence

"A heroin addict," she said," is that why you don't have time to play?"

His gaze snapped towards his elbows, as if checking to see if the bruises on his veins were visible through the cloth, but when he saw they weren't, his frown deepened.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"Easy," she said," you're clearly ready to risk your life for something. If you're in this kind of life, that can only be one of three things: money, drugs or family. You wouldn't be stupid enough to think you'd survive this long enough to get the money nor to protect your family, so that leaves drugs."

She held up his wrist, watching the tremor for a moment before she continued. "I thought you were shaking out of fear, first, but you're in withdrawal. It's quite cold here, but your skin feels feverish, yet you're pale. Besides, you've been restless the whole time we were here. How long has it been since you last used? It must be longer than twelve hours, if you're already this shaken."

"It could've been any other drug," he said," why heroin?"

"A guess," she smiled," you confirmed it when you anxiously looked at your veins."

"You're crazy," the man stammered.

"You're so clever, my lovely Helene," Nathan said warmly, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear," this world has never deserved you." His voice was colored with sincerity as he pulled his hand back. "Neither do I."

She grabbed his hand immediately, Nathan's gaze flicking to her in surprise at her touch. Why was he so ready for her to doom him to death when he at the same time kept preventing her from meeting it? Didn't he understand that they were both more alike than anyone else could ever know? They deserved each other. She didn't know if it was a compliment, but it didn't need to be. The part of her which was striving for the world's approval had bled out in a basement a while ago.

"I love you," she said," truly, irrevocably."

He stared at her, no smooth words leaving his lips as he lingered in the warmth of her words. Finally, he lifted her hand to his lips, whispering of love on her skin as he kissed it.

"You weren't finished," she said, nodding towards Bruno.

"I wasn't," Nathan said, glancing back towards his victim," no ring on your finger even though you're married. You wouldn't be in this kind of job if you were worried about losing valuables, so that's not why you're not wearing it. You were practically tearing up when I talked about you're family, like you feel guilty even talking about them. Are you cheating?"

Helene gasped, placing her hands on Nathan's shoulder as she leaned in. "With a cop? Don't tell me it was that easy."

"I'm not cheating with a cop!" Bruno replied immediately, before breathing out shakily," you're right, I betrayed my family, but it was with someone from a bar, not a cop. Please, believe me. I am a terrible person, but not a snitch."

"Aren't snitches terrible people?" Helene smiled.

"What do you think, my love?" Nathan asked her, eyes lingering on her hands touching him, before he locked them with hers," I'll do whatever you tell me to."

"Even if I asked you to let the three of them remain alive?" she whispered in his ear.

He swallowed, like it was difficult to control himself around her, but he nodded still. How far would he go to please her? The consideration was so gentle, she couldn't help but feel loved.

"Even then," he said.

"It's fine," she said, pressing a kiss on his cheek," just kill them all."

Nathan gestured towards the men waiting on the sidelines, two of them taking a gun out as they walked over. She already had turned around to leave, his hand on the small of her back as he followed along.

"Wait!" the third man shouted," please, I didn't even get the chance to spea -"

The sound of a shot cut him off, two following quickly after. She didn't linger on it nor bother to look back, instead letting the door fall shut behind her as they walked downstairs. Before she could walk out of the building, he placed his hand on the front door, locking her in between him and the steel.

"I thought you'd find it more amusing," he said," we could've played longer, Helene, dissected them all the way to the skeletons in their closet."

She turned back towards him, leaning against the cold steel.

"It was fun," she said," really, Nathan."

"But?" he asked.

"But I don't want to play games anymore," she said, leaning forward towards him as her fingers grazed past the knives strapped to his belt," not when it comes to you and me. You keep asking me to tell you what I want and that you'll do it at once. This is it. I love you, I do, but you can't manipulate me like you do with other people. If you keep doing so, how will anything be real?"

"I didn't manipulate you there," he said, voice colored with confusion," really, Helene."

"I'm talking about everything until now," she said," the murders, the lies, the dreams. It doesn't matter, I don't want to linger on any of it, but from here on, you can't play a game with me again if I lose something at the end. It isn't love if it continues like that."

He stared at her surprisedly, like she was saying something strange to him.

"Manipulation is love, Helene," he said," if I don't play my games, you'll realize you don't want to be near me. What will I do if you leave? What meaning will my life have then?"

"I won't leave," she said," really. If I realized anything during my stay with you, it was that I have nowhere to go. All you have to do is say you'll be real with me, until the end."

"You mean until death do us part?" he said, their breath mingling at the close proximity.

"Even after," she whispered back," promise me."

In a way, his innocence when it came to love was endearing to her. He had never learned what was normal, but neither had she. Still, she didn't want to end up like her parents, that was all she knew. Days of being haunted by them had made her despise them more than ever, but they wouldn't take this opportunity for love from her. Not when this was the realest thing she had ever felt in her whole life. He would do anything for her. Now, she would do the same for him.

"I didn't know, Helene," he murmured," I thought I was doing what I had to to keep you by my side. I didn't know it wouldn't be love like this."

"I am by your side," she said," all you have to do is say the words."

When she looked in his eyes, there were no ghosts staring back at her.

"I promise," he said.