10| euphoria

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HER WORLD WAS BASKING in sunlight when she went outside. It was a foreign feeling to her, but a pleasant one, a skip in her step as she and Nathan walked to the car. The whole way to the city she couldn't help but smile, summer songs playing and the windows down. Pure, unfiltered joy had made it's home in her heart and she could feel it course through her veins. Whatever Nathan had given her, it sure was strong. Her mind felt like it was bedazzled with stars, thoughts glowing silver like the moon.

"I'm happy," she said, surprising herself with the statement.

"So am I," he smiled," I have you by my side, after all."

She took note of her surroundings, but the rows after rows of trees she saw didn't give her any idea of where she was. Of course it wouldn't, he would've blindfolded her otherwise. Or perhaps not, perhaps he wouldn't have cared at all. At first she had thought Nathan to be perfectly thorough in every plan he executed, but more and more she was starting to see his reckless side. Sometimes he did everything to manipulate the consequences to his will, other times he didn't care at all. Why was he taking her outside? What was the real reason?

It was hard to keep overthinking when she was overflowing with so much warmth though, all her suspicion fading away into euphoria. There were no bad things in the world right now, just the wisps of clouds in the air and the bass of the song synchronizing with her heart. For the first time, the screaming voices in her head were silent.

She closed her eyes the rest of the way, only opening them when Nathan opened the door for her. The people around them didn't mind them at all, Nathan pulling her cap down more as they walked amidst the crowd. He didn't mind that his own face was barely concealed by his cap, but no one seemed to notice the serial killer walking in their midst. Perhaps it was the huge smile on his face or perhaps the fact that he was so confidently strolling down the street, his hand interlaced with hers, but either way, they didn't get arrested as soon as they stepped foot in the city.

The place was foreign to her, no identifying landmarks anywhere nearby to tell her where she was. They walked through the busy shopping streets, Nathan laughing with her as her worries floated away, tangling themselves in the wisps of clouds above. Nathan stopped her by a cafe close to the water, the both of them sitting down as he asked for a menu. It was quieter here, only five other people sitting outside on the terrace.

"You like sweet things, right?" Nathan said, though it was clear he knew the answer to his question.

"I do," she said," how did you know?"

"I know everything," he smiled, closing his eyes to linger in the artificial bliss buzzing through them," it's part of being the absolute worst. I have to know everything to remain terrible. People often fear their secrets being exposed more than a knife at their throat."

"How about you?" she said.

He opened his eyes, watching her curiously. "I don't know. I haven't found something which truly scares me yet."

"Do you want to?" she asked.

She knew it was a strange question, because no one actually wanted to be filled with fear. At least, no one but Nathan. He was chasing the thrill of feeling something more than anyone else she had ever met, to the point that he wouldn't mind dying simply to know his heart had been beating once. When their gazes locked, his smile widened, the shadows cast upon him by the cap dancing on his face.

"Of course," he said," what else makes life worth living except being scared? Nothing matters if you have no fear."

Before she could reply, their server arrived, flashing them a wide smile. He was a gangly boy with red curls and a cluster of freckles on his nose, spreading out towards his cheeks. It was genuine warmth which he radiated, an innocence which came with youth still making the world gentle to him. All she needed to know was what his relationship with his parents was like and then she could unravel everything about him. The first time cynicism tainted a heart often started at home and that, more than happiness, was telling of what a person's character would be like.

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