Secrets Part 1

AHKEEM'S PROCLAMATION

I'm tired if hiding who I truly am. But I know the type of torture life would bring me if I decide to show me. The me I truly am. The me only I and a special person close to me understands.

It's 6am and I'm up getting ready for school. Mom and dad been arguing all night and I'm just not in the mood for the pettiness they are going to bring to the dining table. But whether I like it or not, I have no choice. I make my way to my bedroom and walk to my wooden nightstand. I have a hidden compartment inside my drawer where I hide things from my mom. I take my weed out and my wraps from the compartment, place my book back on top and closed the drawer. I make my way to the bathroom before getting distracted by my sister's conversation. "Tay I'm not even stressing it. It hurt me at first but I'll get over it. They deserve each other plus me and Daevion was close to breaking up anyway", I heard my sister say from inside her room. I couldn't stand that fool and I knew it was only a matter of time before he showed his true colors. Time and time again I've been warning my sister about this guy, who he deals with, and the type of women he messes around with. But she only sees a nice face, body, and popularity. I quickly snatch myself away from my thoughts and quietly walk away from my sister's door and continue to walk to the bathroom. I lock the door behind me and laid my bag of weed and wraps on the bathroom counter and opened the window. I began to pre roll all my joints before lighting one. I couldn't dare get caught with this. Pre rolling was my way of hiding it better. After every hit I took, I blew the smoke out the window. Enjoying my high. Enjoying these few minutes of peace and freedom before I had to face my family and pretend to be some dorky ass nerd. Bzz. Bzz. Bzzz. I jumped hard and froze for a second before realizing my phone was ringing. I swear I thought I may have just got caught this time. "Hello", I answered. " Hey sugar foot how you doing ", said the person on the other end. My face lit up. I haven't heard from my T in almost two weeks. T is older than I am. And married. So I keep us a secret. And we talk very rarely. The world may say it's rape. And this grown adult has no business sleeping with a child. But we look at it as pure love. Love is an attraction. And sometimes this attraction has no limits. It likes what it like and no matter how hard we try, we can't fight it. Every time we get the chance to see each other, it's like fire crackers hitting the night sky. So much spark, we never run out of things to say. I have found my best friend and lover all in one. " I'm doing good T. Just missing you ", I replied trying to sound all sexy. " Well I can't talk for long. But I'm trying to see you today. I'll text you where to link up and time. Only text back 5 mins prior", T whispered. " I love you, I said back. T hung up.
"Ahkeem hurry up!", Miesha yelled from the hallway. I spray my smoke out spray and hid all the evidence. "There you go" I said walking out the bathroom. It's time for breakfast now. I got the munchies. "Good morning ma" I said kissing my mom on the cheek. "Good morning baby. Go ahead and fix yourself some breakfast. I'm about to get dressed for work", my mom said drying off a few more dishes before taking of her red and yellow apron. "Okay ma", I said and began to wash my hands.
Wait a minute I thought. After I dried my hands I felt my pockets for my lighter. DAMN! I said to myself. I don't have my lighter. It has to be in the bathroom. Did Mi see it? Whatever if she does find it she'll question ma or dad before she thinks about me. It amazes me how fooled I have my family sometimes. I take one last sip of my orange juice. " Bye mom ", I yelled from the kitchen and left. On my way to school, I always stop by my homeboy house next door. He my plug and he keep that gas. "Wassup bruh?", I said walking up to my homeboy Emmitt and dapping him up. "Ain't shit bruh another day another dollar", Emmitt said reaching for some New Ports out his pocket. "Yeah man Imma just need a 8th this time", I said trying not to throw up. The smell of cigarettes makes me sick to my stomach. "Damn bruh you alright?", Emmitt said looking at me all crazy. " Yeah I just don't like the smell of cigarettes ", I said fanning the smoke away. " Well shit next time speak the fuck up. How I'm supposed to know your stomach all feminine and shit " Emmitt said and tossed his cigarette. I just stood there. Scared to say the wrong thing. Emmitt wasn't the guy to joke around with. And he dosent take everything so lightly. Emmitt walked in the house leaving me on the porch alone. Five minutes went by and Emmitt comes back outside. "Here ya go", said Emmitt passing me a 8th of weed inside a clear plastic bag. "You still got that piece you was trying to get rid of?", I asked Emmitt. I didn't need the gun to kill or steal, just something to scare these little block boys that be at my school. They think they can keep fucking with me. And until I finally stand up for myself, they can. "Yeah but I told you it's dirty. I don't need you out here on some juvenile shit. And get locked up for something you didn't do", Emmitt said looking at me in the eye. He began to make me nervous. But I remained cool. " Look I'm not. I just gotta scare a mf that's it. I'll even bring it right back if you want me to", I said. "Yeah aight that's cool" Emmitt said passing me the pistol. I took it put it in my book bag. Gave Emmitt a nod and continued my walk to school. Today was a nice day 80 degrees with some chill in the wind. The perfect day to spend some time with my boo, or according to what my parents think, staying after with the glee club. I took my phone out and turned on some music. One of my favorite songs began to play. "If you take your love away from me, I'll go crazy", Jodeci blasted from my phone speaker. Five minutes later I get to school. But I know it's not gonna be easy getting in. The block boys are waiting for me somewhere. They always do. I get to the gate and began to unlock so I can get into school. I heard Laughing not too far behind me and knew, it was time. Before turning around, I pull my bookbag from off my shoulders reached inside and pulled of my pistol. The boys behind me must didn't see, because I can hear them getting closer. I turn around and point the gun straight out. No need to play games. Let's get straight to the point. "Aye yo bruh I don't want no problems ", a kid with long dread locs stood in front of me with his hands in the air. "Gone head man my bad", I said rushing to put the pistol away. Damn. I know these kids are going to snitch on me. I rush into school bumping into every kid that's in my way. I don't know what to do now. I should've threaten them or something to stop them from snitching. I get to my locker and throw the whole book bag inside and rush to class. I'm nervous as hell passing by all these teachers. Why they keep staring at me? I get to my class, Ms. Pasher's English 2. I sit down at my seat which of course is at the front of the class. I look around and I begin to notice alot of my class mates are whispering. I know now for a fact that those boys had told on me. I need to get out of here. As soon as I begin to stand up, Ms.Pasher walks in. "Good morning students. I hope everyone had a great weekend. We will begin with a review from last week. Followed by a exam", she said while writing on the chalk board. "Um Ms.Pasher. I need to go to the bathroom", I said. "Ahkeem you know the rules. Use the bathroom before you enter my class. This is first period. You've had plenty of time to make sure that you are prepared" Ms.Pasher said not once turning her attention to me. "I really have to go" , I said standing up pretending to look like I have to use the bathroom. I know if I just walk out right now, I could ose my reputation. They'll alert my parents about my behavior which I don't need to happen. I have too much that I'm hiding from them. I don't need them sticking their noses in my business. But I do it anyway. I can't risk getting in trouble with this gun. I shouldn't have brought it with me anyway. I should have been more careful. I run down the empty halls. Racing to my locker. My mind is going crazy. I'm praying wishing and hoping that Ive scared those boys enough. Fucking punks. I get to the hall where my locker is, and I hear a locker close followed by what sounded like group of people talking. I'm caught. I creep up closer, hoping to get a better view of the scene. "Hey Mr.Hines we need you to come here. Now please ", Principal Akins said looking me dead in the eyes. My heart dropped. I've never been caught before. My whole life I've always gotten away. It was easy for me to fool people. People are so gullible. You can make them believe anything as long as you say it the right way. I look at Principal Akins. Then I look at the door behind him. Should I run or try to talk a smooth one? I take off. Once I get pass the gate I turned to see if anyone was behind me. Once the coast was clear I took off again. After about 1 more minute of running, I stopped and began to walk. I'm still afraid. Looking behind make every few seconds. Cheakk g my surroundings hoping they didn't call the police. They've probably called my parents by now too. So no need to go home. The best thing for me to do is hide. I need to smoke.

I get to the local library and sat at the chair closet to the door. I'm safe for now. But not for long. I take my phone out and began to look through my contacts. Who can I chill with until this whole thing cools down? Boom there we go. My little sexy girl Taylor. I know she probably left school way before first period. Yeah I need to call her. A big blunt and some head will get me right. A clear mind. Taylor answered on the thrird ring, "Hey wassup?". Damn she sound sexy. "Hey girl just trying to see what's up with you. I know your little fast ass ain't in school", I said trying to make my voice sound deeper than what it actually is. She chuckled. "Actually I am. Your sister and I had a little incident happen this morning with some booger wolf. And you know how that go. Gotta be here to make sure my girl straight",she said. " Okay well hit my line. You know I miss you girl" I said. "Sure thing baby" Taylor said and hung up the phone. I ain't in love I just love to pretend to be. Taylor is more like a fantasy and she knows that. She took my virginity away from me last year for my 15th birthday. And I've been hooked to that pussy every since.

It's now 12:45 and I'm still here at the library. Still not knowing where to go. My heart is still racing and it's been well over three hours now. I'm nervous. Scared of my true colors being revealed. I don't want people to see me. For who I am. I rather hide I rather fool them. I rather them think that I'm perfect. I don't want to be judged. One stupid mistake and now I'm about to go crazy. I began walking home.

During my walk home my phone began to ring. Bzz Bzzz. I grabbed my phone and was able to answer on the first ring. It was T. "Hey baby wyd where you at?", T asked. "Walking home. Thought you couldn't call me back bae?" I asked. "Got some extra free time. Want to link up now?" T answered. "Yeah I'm right here on Bernes St", I said. "On my way ", T responded and hung up. Glad I didn't have to go home, I walked and sat at the nearest bus stop. I can't wait to spend time with my baby. It's been too long and when I'm with T, I feel complete. Like I don't have to hide who I am. Because I'm understood in my peace. Bzz Bzz. Damn I thought to myself. It took T no time. I grabbed my phone out my pocket and saw that it wasn't T calling me, it was a number I didn't know. I quickly declined the call and texted the number. Who is this?. I don't answer missed calls. Ten minutes went by and finally T showed up. I walked up to the