Gold Dust || JJK

5 - Rain

Faye

The sound of thunder wakes me up, heavy raindrops hitting my window like bullets. No matter how much I love rain, this one sounds different, and I can't enjoy it as usual. It's not just rain.

It feels like the heavens are crying. The sky is so dark that you would not even say it's daytime. It has been like this since the night we saw Hayun with the other guy.

After Hobi went home, an ounce of trepidation filled my soul, and I could not help but go there and yell at Hayun like a crazy banshee, spitting venom with my words. He did not deserve that, no matter what.

We are adults, for fuck's sake. If you don't want to be in a relationship anymore, be mature enough to verbalize it.

At that very moment, she said nothing. No lame excuse, no clear explanation, nothing. I stormed to our apartment and waited for her to come and at least invent something plausible. But no. When she entered the door, she briefly admitted that she needed that for her business.

The other man was not a sneaky link but her client who wanted to promote her stupid business.

I was so wrong about her, and now everything makes sense. She's not that lovely, open-minded person I thought she was, but a selfish and opportunistic gold-digger. She's taking any chance, not giving a flying shit about people. That's why she wanted me to move in with her so fast, and that's why she left Hobi the moment someone else was ready to sponsor her.

And on top of that, she's moving in with her new whatever he is, sponsor/boyfriend/fool. I cannot complain because living with her would have been a nightmare. And right now, my financial situation is more than decent, so I can afford to live alone.

But I am concerned about Hobi.

We haven't talked in a week. I did not dare call him, thinking he needed time to lick his wounds. Occasionally, I send him short texts telling him I'm here if he wants to talk, but I don't insist much.

Sadly, he did not reply.

I get closer to the window, watching the sky cracking in half by the bolts of lightning. The thick, ashy color of a rainy day in Seoul, the racing cars, the squirming umbrellas all over the place. I'm standing in the darkness, observing people who try to get away from the rain, thinking that no umbrella would cover this sadness.

With a light grey background, I'm thinking, why am I standing here? I don't know if I have a lot of thoughts or no thoughts at all. When it rains, I feel that I have a friend who keeps knocking on my windows. However, this time, my friend is heartbroken and melancholic.

I brush back my hair with exhausted hands, having an unknown empty feeling that washes over me. Grey city, grey buildings, grey roads, grey rain, everything is moving in a slow tempo, except the rain. Brilliantly silver lightning makes me see my reflection in the window, looking more miserable than I thought.

I check my phone with sore shoulders and see a text from Jimin, asking if I know anything about Hobi because he does not pick up his phone. With no intention of replying, my emotions get heavier as I inhale the scent of the wet rain. I stretch out and go to the bathroom to take the usual shower.