FIX ME - Paul Lahote Story

Chapter 23

I'll just have to see if we have any meat in the freezer. If we do, I guess I could just roast a big helping of lamb and boil loads of vegetables to go with it? (A/n: I suck at thinking of food to cook lol I'm sorry) I guess it also depends on whether we even have any vegetables at home . . . Those losers aren't exactly the biggest fans of healthy food.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It's taken me almost 2 hours but everything is finally done! I kept my plate of food aside to eat upstairs but everything else is either in the oven or in a bowl in the microwave for the idiots to heat up when they're hungry.

Guess I should just go upstairs before one of them comes back. I don't want to face them, I'm both terrified and ashamed. Terrified that they'd hurt me and ashamed that I'm such a weakling. I'm so disgusted in myself.

I shook away my self pity and carried my plate and glass up to my bedroom, making sure to not spill anything as I jogged up the the stairs.

"Caitlyn?!" I heard just as I stepped into my room.

I shakily set my stuff down on my window seat and quietly walked out to see Jared making his way up the stairs.

No. No no no! What is he doing back?! He should be in the woods with the boys or something!

I moved back, heading straight to my room, hoping to get in there and lock it before Jared could catch up to me, but to no avail. Just as I went to close the door, Jared stepped inside, my fear getting the best of me as I stumbled back in attempts to get as far away from him as possible.

"Get out" I cried, I had tried to sound strong but shamefully, it just came out sounding shaky.

Jared frowned at my fearful tone, eyes softening as he tried to step closer.

No no no. Why is he stepping closer?!

"Stop moving!" I panicked, eyes wide as Jared's hands reached out towards my face.

I flinched, slapping away his hand in my panic, almost missing the sight of the hurt expression that overtook Jared's features.

"Why did you do it?" He whispered sadly, his voice was raspy and shaky, as if he'd been crying... But why would Jared have been crying?

"Do- do what?"

His eyes cast downwards, locking onto my scarred arm that was currently hidden under my sleeve.

What? He knows?! Why would Paul tell him?! Why would he tell anyone?!

They're going to ridicule me for being so weak. They will. I know they will. I mean what else would they do? Help me? I almost scoffed at that. As if they'd help me.

"Why would you do that to yourself?"

I couldn't help but stiffen, I have no explanation for what I did. Well not a good one anyway. What am I supposed to say?

"Cait?"

I panicked, my eyes were stinging but I couldn't find it in myself to do anything about it, all I could think about was how Jared had scared me earlier, just like he was doing right now.

"Cai- oh crap"

I felt a hand on my arm and my breath got caught in my throat.

I snapped my head towards Jared as he tugged me into his chest, I pushed against his body, trying to get away from him but I knew I couldn't. He was too strong for me.

"I'm so sorry Cait. I really am sis" He sighed, his voice cracking as he spoke.

I stopped struggling, surprised by his words.

He's sorry? Why?

I looked up at him to see him running one hand over his face before looking down at me.

"Things are going to change. Believe it or not but they are. I promise kiddo"

I continued to weakly push against his chest, refusing to believe his words. I don't trust him or the rest of the pack, well maybe Seth or Leah but the rest of them have given me no reason to believe a single word that leaves their lips.

At least Seth and Leah have treated me the same as they used to before, they don't ignore me or bully me like the others have done. Seth and Leah may not have told me about them being shifters but at least they still treat me like a friend. I get that it's a huge secret and I understand why they have to keep it hidden from everyone else since they could get taken away and experimented on if someone found out; but I don't know why they wouldn't tell me, I've heard all the legends! I already know about the cold ones and the shape shifters, why would they not tell me?

I knew I'd most likely regret it later, but at the moment I wanted to make the most of my time with Jared.

I don't know if he'll actually change or if he's lying, but right now I need the comfort and since he's the only one around and willing to console me, I might as well accept it. It doesn't mean I'm going to forgive him and the boys for everything they've done, but a hug can't hurt right?

Besides, I know that as long as I'm screaming and struggling, Jared won't let me go. Maybe he does regret what he's done, maybe knowing that I'd self harmed had given him the reality check he needed? It's possible. But if that's why he's here trying to console me, then he'll only leave once I'm calm. Or asleep. I usually tire myself out when I have a freak out as big as this, even in the past I was like this. When my parents would hurt me really bad, I'd cry in my room for ages until I eventually fell asleep, and more often than not, Jared would be right there beside me as I wept like a baby. What ever happened to that Jared?

I can only hope that this means he and the boys won't be bullying me anymore, I don't know how much more of their harsh treatment I can tolerate.

I'm not hoping to be best friends again, I don't think I'd ever want that now. I don't know if I could ever get over what they've done to me but if they stop all of this then at least I could try and be happy again.

Without them.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I don't even know how this chapter turned out, I didn't plan on it being like that at the end but eh.

Oh and guess what?

I FUCKIN MET 5 OF MY IDOLS LAST WEEK OMG. If you're not British you probably won't know who Aston Merrygold is but I MET HIM AFTER SUPPORTING HIM AND HIS BAND FOR OVER 7 YEARS!!!! Now finally I met one of them, even though the band broke up, it still means just as much to meet even one of them. But I ALSO MET LITTLE MIX IN THAT SAME WEEK LIKE AM I LUCKY OR WHAT?! And they fuckin called me sweet and said I'm pretty and omfg my actual Queen (Perrie) called me gorgeous when I hugged her oh wow *cries a waterfall*

Anywhore, what do you guys think of Jared's reaction? Cait getting scared etc? Do you guys think Jared and the boys will really change? Oh and who is your fave character and why?

Btw if you guys have any suggestions for the book, or you wanna let me know what you like and want more of or what you dislike (or if you just wanna talk) then just inbox me on here or dm me on my Twitter (mermaidandqueen).

Btw what do you guys think of the new cover? If any of you guys want to make a cover for this story (you don't have to), you can just tweet it to me or just send it to me on Kik (it's Dream5SOS)

Now remember to vote, comment, follow and share!!!!

And thank you for 73K reads on this crappy story!!!!! I don't know why you all like it as much as you do but thank you nonetheless. I love you guys!! :*