Madness

Chapter 61

~Existence really is an imperfect tense
that never becomes a present.~

I remained speechless as she continued to speak. She did not notice my astonishment until I dropped the fork I was holding to attract her attention. She was truly astonished to see me standing so still. She did not understand why, did not understand the mistake that had not gone unnoticed by me. She put her right hand on mine in an attempt to reassure me, but it did nothing but repel me. It was only then that I noticed that on her ring finger, where she usually wore her skull ring, it was gone, and in its place there was a ring of sapphires.

"Are you okay, dear?"

"How do you know it was Douglas who shot that man?"

"Well... it was a national case, it was in all the newspapers back then! Everybody knows about it."

"I mean... that Douglas shot that man! Nobody knew about it, Douglas had only told me about it!"

She seemed to hesitate under my inquiring gaze: she seemed to break into a cold sweat, the fingers of her right hand playing with a sapphire ring as she began to consider what to say. She looked extremely nervous.

"You are in shock, darling, after all that has happened your judgment is clouded!"

"My judgment is crystal clear!"

"You must have made a mistake! It was on everyone's lips!"

"He told me he only shared it with me, and I..."

"I have to say that I admire your confidence in the words of a man who cheated on you with his ex-girlfriend while you were away!" The woman's composure returned as soon as she realized that she had touched a sore spot. I was humiliated by her statement, delivered in a voice that was nothing short of venomous, as she resumed eating with amusement. "No, really! I admire the fact that you forgave him after, what, three months? Most people don't forget after having betrayed, even after years! You, on the other hand, returned to his bed after not even a year. Indeed! After less than six months! Congratulations! You are admirable! Let's hope he doesn't do worse next time, in short, from a man who spent his entire adolescence in a different bed every night, with more than one woman in the same night." Those words made my heart stop for a few moments and tears came to my eyes, remembering the immense pain I had felt seeing him prefer another woman to me. She continued her speech with a wild smile on her wrinkled face when she saw my shining eyes on the floor. "You know, most women would pay to be with him, not only because of his looks, but also because of his position. I just hope he doesn't... how shall I put it... get tempted by all those women! Of course, this is all just hypothetical talk, in case he does wake up! I hope for your sake that in that case, he will have a quarter of your fidelity, my dear."

I felt my anger rise when I saw that disgusting victorious smile she turned towards me. She took a glass of wine and raised it to her lips.

"At least I am welcome here."

She gave me a grim look, which I returned with a look of hatred that pierced her small, sunken eyes before I stood up and walked away.

I couldn't sleep that night, looking for news about the incident. Everything was described in great detail: the time of the incident, what had happened next at the police station, but there was no mention of what Douglas had done. It was really weird. Doubts began to creep in: how could she know such a thing if no one knew? The only way she could have known was if she had been there, but Douglas said that no one had been there that night. I felt there was more to it, I don't know how much I wanted to find out, but I wanted to know what was behind it, for Douglas. It may have sounded silly, but I believed his words, I was convinced of the truth of his words. I believed, I knew that he had confided these things only to me. It was difficult for Douglas to open up to anyone and in that moment I had a feeling that he was opening up a part of himself. If no member of his family knew this detail, how could Joanne know such an intimate and personal thing about Douglas? Especially knowing the distant relationship between the two of them. The next morning I sent Steph ahead of me, telling her that I needed to sort out a few things to take with me to the hospital. As soon as I saw Joanne leave the house, I snuck into her room and did a thorough search for anything that might look suspicious. I checked every nook and cranny of the room, but there was no sign of anything out of the ordinary. I looked everywhere, there was nothing to interest me, in the closets, in the drawers, under the pillows. Suddenly, I found a folded piece of paper under one of his sweaters. When I opened it to read it, I noticed that it was a $30,000 deposit for a certain Tom Green. With a frown on my face, I closed the drawer with the paper still in my hand. However, I noticed that it was struggling to close, as if something was blocking it, but before I could check, I was stopped by the door slamming violently shut.