Madness

Chapter 31

~Love is the wisest of madness,
able to suppress bitterness,
sweetness able to heal.~

The next morning was really eventful because of the preparations for my departure. Lux, Maat, and Steph helped me to pack what I was going to take with me and to bring everything I needed. Steph told me that this would be my room until I returned and invited me to leave some things in the closet. I didn't see Steve or Douglas all morning. I was surprised and, to be honest, a little bitter about not seeing Doug. I had expectations of at least a goodbye from him. I was also reluctant to leave. I wanted to stay with my new friends and they were very sorry too, so much so that they made me promise to come back as soon as possible. Before noon I went to the entrance. There I found Teresa, who gave me a warm hug, and Margaret, who wished me a safe journey. Just outside I saw him waiting for me near the metallic green car. He was wearing his usual black glasses and had his arms crossed over his chest. I walked up to him, smiling wide as I put my bags in the open trunk.

"I thought you went out."

"In fact, I don't seem to be inside."

"Witty! You know my point."

"I had a couple of things to do. Do you want to check my phone?"

"Do you feel like joking today?"

I smiled in return to his bright smile as he closed the hatch.

"Shall we leave?"

Immediately he took off, jolting me back to sitting. Even though I had gotten used to his high speed by now, I was still a little nervous as he passed the cars in the other lane of traffic. Still laughing at my obvious agitation, he slowed to a crawl and merged into traffic. Certainly, not only because of the sporty model, which was unusual to see on the road to say the least, but also because of the garish electric color, this car did not go unnoticed. Shortly after arriving at the airport, he helped me unload my luggage. I was getting ready for the grueling nearly 6-hour flight. As he unloaded the last bag, I watched him with my hands clasped around my body, nervous as a 12-year-old girl. I put my arms around the back of his neck and brought my lips close to his. I felt a sweet note in his kiss. The way he squeezed my waist, almost breaking my ribs, let me know he didn't want to let me go and made me smile.

"I'm going to be back next week, and then I'll tell you how it went."

"Steph told me to tell you to give her a call, she wants to hear from you a lot."

"I will. Douglas...." I looked down at the ground while we were still hugging, "I lo..." I was hesitant to say the words that I had whispered a few nights before, "hi, Douglas."

I greeted him in a hurry and broke away to make my way to the airport. I regretted not finishing the sentence. I stopped abruptly as I felt my heart begin to pound. I turned and saw him walking toward the car. I dropped my bag and trolley and ran to catch up with him. I jumped into his arms and kissed him as he stood there a little stunned at first. When I pulled away, I was finally able to look him in the eye.

"I'll miss you, Douglas."

"Did you come back to tell me this?"

"Not just that." I began to rummage through my bag under the amused look and sweet smile. I rejoiced when I found the small ultramarine blue velvet booklet I had been looking for. "I wanted to give it to you for your birthday, it's a little book of poems, I bought it in an antique store, they're all in the original language, I don't think you'll have a problem. I know it's not much, but..."

He held me close and kissed me softly, not even letting me finish.

"It's the only decent gift I got."

I smiled, it was hard for him to let himself go and hug me, it was such an intimate moment between us. We stayed like that for a while until we heard my boarding call. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I think you have to go, goodbye Arte."

I walked away reluctantly, staring at him until he was too far away. I waited until he saw me disappearing up the escalators of the airport. I checked in, showed my passport, and put my bags on the roller conveyor. I sat by the window and watched the scenery pass by after looking for my assigned seat on the ticket. Occasionally, the jolts of the plane's departure made my forehead bounce against the glass. I felt something missing, an emptiness in my stomach not only caused by the vacuum of air that was about to arrive.

"What coincidence! We have seats right next to each other."

When I recognized his voice, I narrowed my eyes in irritation. Unfortunately, even though it was a compelling impulse, I could not get up and leave.

"Evidently."

"Did you have fun with my brother? Because it will never happen again."

"And who will stop us? You?"

"No, I just know him. He ruins everything around him, he will ruin this kind of... relationship."

"If you really want to know, we are good together. Everything is going well!"

"Just because you went to bed doesn't mean that everything is going to be fine."

"It's none of your business."

I snarled through clenched teeth, looking him straight in the eye as my chest rose and fell rapidly. As he lowered the seat to lie down more comfortably, he looked at me with amusement.

"Don't get so heated, I was just trying to observe."

"You don't know anything about us if you reduce our relationship to just sex."

"Did he tell you that? Or is that just your assumption?"

I did not answer as I tried to calm myself down by looking at the water of the ocean as it shimmered in the sunlight.

"Mind your own business."

"Of course I do, but don't come crying to me when he gets tired of you and tosses you away like a bag of garbage."

"And why would he do that?"

"Because that's what he always does: it's a way to show me that he's better than me. He steals girls from me, sleeps with them, and then dumps them."

"And you think you are better than him?"

"I am better than him, in every possible way."

"And yet he is not the one who had to be saved by father when he was imprisoned."

My voice had risen to such a pitch that people in the room turned to us as he looked at me in horror. Perhaps he had not expected me to hear his brother mention that event, but after an initial stunned look, he quickly recovered by returning to the attack.

"What happened is just a figment of the imagination of a ragged little girl who had nothing to say except to accuse me of seeking attention. Ask him how many times he has been reported for violence or fighting. Go ahead, ask! You'll find a whole page on Google about him or all the scandals he's put my family through." He saw my hesitant expression and took the opportunity to rage. "He's sick, Arte. Everyone is trying to protect him, but by now everyone knows how he is."

I turned away and thought about what he had said. I thought about his outburst and all the banging and smashing that had taken place the first few days I had been here. It made my head ache to think back to all that had happened, perhaps closely related to him. I spent the rest of the flight worried. I wondered what I was getting into by being with him. If he was so violent, what would he do if we had an argument? If I disagreed with him, what would happen? Would he hit me or something? What if we had children? Could he ever do anything to them? Was the illness Steve mentioned one that made him explode like a mine when angry? I did not speak to Steve for the remaining hours. He did the same, completely ignoring me as if I did not exist. I was worried. I had to know what was wrong with him. I knew he was a dangerous guy. He had proven it to me when he drove the car at full speed or when he went to play poker with his mobster friend. But I didn't really have any faith that he was a danger to others as well. The glass on the floor, the broken glass, the attack on Steve, all flashed before my eyes. How could I live with this? I twisted the bracelet he'd given me around my wrist. The hours ticked terribly slowly, adding to my fear.