All for me

Foreign Land

Everything feels different after a night of infidelity. Your house knows, the doors, the bed, they are all judging you. Putting my keys down feels like returning something that was no longer mine. 

I have to shake this off. It was a mistake, no one is perfect. Just forget it and act normal. 

"Where have you been!?" He appeared in the doorway. Does he care? 

"I stayed at Emmas last night. I drank too much and fell asleep." Shit too typical of an excuse. I could've gotten more creative. "You're acting suspicious lately. I know you, you're different." Fuck he knows. "I just need to get out of this routine we are in lately, thats all. I had fun with the girls yesterday and I think if I just go out more with my friends it'll help me feel better."

"It's always about you feeling better, if I stay out all night that way you would've lost it." He wasn't going to make this easy. "Who said? Go ahead and spend a night out, the space is healthy." "I don't need space." 

He crossed the room to me gripped my wrist and pulled me to his chest. Gosh, no. "I have to shower, I slept in my clothes I'm all sweaty and uncomfortable." I push back from his chest. "I don't care." His hands slide down to my butt and he squeezes. Any other day this would have lit me up but today I just wanted to disappear. "Please Mark, a quick shower and a nap in my own bed is what I need right now." I can't let him smell him on me. His seed still seeping out of me. 

"Fine, I have to get ready for work anyway." Thank God. I slipped into the bathroom and turned on the shower to the hottest it could get. Maybe I can burn the evidence off of me. I looked at myself in the mirror. How did last night even happen? Is this what I looked like? He was so gorgeous. The flashbacks start and I get a shiver through my skin. I wish I could feel it all again. His nibble on my shoulder. His hands cautious but begging. And him inside me, so thick. And me so wet. Gosh who knew I could get that wet. I'm relieved to know its still fully functioning down there. My phone beeps. A text from the girls. Actually thirty. They want to know everything. No one is surprised that I left with another guy while my boyfriend of two years waited at home. 

Me: Emma I said I was with you if anyone asks back me up please. send. 

Emma: Of course, but please tell us everything!!! 

Me: It was amazing. I wish I was still with him. Of course I feel guilty. Idk why I'm doing this. Obviously I'm not happy but I can't  seem to end this. It just all seems too complicated. 

Emma: It was one night calm down. Don't do anything rash. Did you fuck?

Me: Yes over and over and over again. I think we fell asleep around 4 am. 

Brooke: what!!! details 

Me: It was the first time I came from penetration. It was life changing. I need to have more sex like that. 

Shit the water must be cold. I step into the shower and let the water wash over me. I scrub at myself till my skin turns deep red. If only I could scrub from the inside out now. 

More texts. 

Brooke: Elyse just enjoy it, you aren't married. You've been clear about being unhappy maybe this is what you needed to clear your head. 

I like that one, I'll ignore the rest. 

Ugh finally my bed. He accepted me a bit more now that I smelled like myself. Mark was gone, what a relief I had till six pm to figure out the rest of my life. Maybe I could just disappear before he got home. Change my number too and never see him again.

 I think that would be the best solution.