All That and a Bag of Chips

Chapter 29

"–and you guys breaking up just broke that illusion, you know? Especially because it was all so sudden."

"Imagine how I felt." He turned to face her again. She was only a few feet away from him, still wearing yoga pants and her dark hair tied back. His best friend for the past three years. Her cinnamon eyes glistened with unfallen tears.

"I know, man." Her voice was low and trembled with emotion. "Something beautiful was shattered, and I just wanted to super glue it back together, which maybe was stupid. So, I'm sorry."

"You didn't answer me before. Were you there when Avery told Heather?"

Sam shook her head, and a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

There was a knock at the door.

"That better not be Avery." Collin's voice was a low growl.

Sam shrugged and held up her hands. "I didn't invite her over. I promise." Then a cloud of guilt passed over her features. "But my phone has been vibrating in my pocket. If I check, I bet it was her calling."

"I'm not speaking to her," he said, enunciating each syllable in slow exaggeration.

The door opened, and a moment later, someone was walking up the stairs. Collin turned just as Avery appeared in front of him.

"You've got some nerve just showing up here, in my house." Looking at her had once filled him with warmth, but now seeing her just made him feel hollowed out. His skin was nothing but a blown-out eggshell.

Sam stepped forward, standing between them. "Avery, I don't think you should be here."

Avery ignored Sam and craned her neck to look at Collin. "Just talk to me. Give me five minutes. Can't you give me five minutes?"

"I'd once been willing to give you the rest of my life." He shook his head at how quickly things could change.

"So, what's five minutes in the grand scheme of things?" she pleaded. "Please?"

He'd never could resist that look. Her lips pouted, her eyes downcast. For six years, his body had been conditioned to respond to that look, to give in to her requests. "Fine. Five minutes."

"Can we talk somewhere private?"

"We are not going into my room." His voice was hard. It was a boundary he would not cross again. Their interaction at the party had been too painful.

"You can use my room," Sam offered.

"Fine." Collin walked past Avery and down the stairs, turned the corner to walk past the laundry area, and then lead the way into Sam's room. The curtains were closed and the beige shag carpet and tie-dyed wall hangings were bathed in shadow. Not wanting artificial light, he walked over and pulled the curtains apart, then he sat on Sam's desk chair.

Avery had followed Collin and now walked into the room, closing the door behind her.

"I miss you," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Sam told me as much." He swiveled in the chair, not able to look at her.

"If I could take it all back, I would."

"No, you wouldn't," he snapped.

"I would."

He swiveled back to facing her. "Well, you just pushed me further away by telling Heather something that wasn't your business. Honestly, that was just mean."

"Come on, though? A bet?" She shook her head.

"Not that you deserve to know this, but Tom just wanted to distract me. After, you know, you stomped on my heart." He glared at her.

"Tom is such a guy. Just gross."

Collin let out a small, amused laugh. "If you hate all guys so much, I'm not sure why you wanted to talk to me so badly. I am a guy, if you've forgotten. I thought that was the whole fucking problem."

She slumped forward and suddenly started to cry, overcome by wracking sobs that shook her shoulders. "I'm so stupid. What is wrong with me?"

Collin gazed up at the ceiling and let out a long exhale. He couldn't believe what he was about to do. Then he stood, sat next to Avery, and rubbed her back. "You should've told me how you were feeling instead of cheating on me. After six years, I deserved that much."

"I know," she said, rubbing at her nose.

"So, that was wrong... But you were right that we didn't have a future. You are a lesbian and I am a man, and that's just the truth. And maybe Gina wasn't right for you, but some other woman will be."

"Why are you being nice to me?" she asked, wiping at her eyes.

"I really don't know," he answered.

"Do you think we can at least be friends?" she asked. "I really do miss you."

"I really don't know about that either. At least not right now."

She covered her eyes with her palms as they filled with a fresh round of tears. "I'm just so confused about everything."

Collin just kept rubbing her back. There was nothing for him to say.

"I really am sorry," Avery whispered.

"About what?"

"Everything. Even telling that girl about the bet. I thought it would make me feel better, but it didn't." Avery looked up, her eyes puffy and red.

"Well," he said, still rubbing her back, "it made me feel worse. So, at least you accomplished that."

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

"You can keep saying it, but it won't change anything." He put his hands in his lap and looked down.

"Maybe I can help somehow." She shifted, facing him.

"How?" he asked, his mouth flattening into a line.

"I–I could tell her it was all a lie. That I'm just the crazy ex. I don't know, but I might think of something." She reached to place her hand on his knee, but he shifted, and she pulled back.

"Listen, I think you've done enough." Collin stood. "You should go."

He knew he needed to get Heather back. He also knew that Avery could have nothing to do with it.

"Will you answer my calls sometimes?" she asked as she stood, too.

Collin took a deep breath and looked into her still so familiar eyes. But the edge of her new tattoo was still visible at the edge of her collar, reminding him how much she had changed. "Maybe," he answered, not knowing if it was the truth or not.

Then he walked her to the door and closed it behind her.

Sam was still on the couch when he walked back up the stairs, watching something on the television.

"Hey," he said to her. "I need you to help me figure out how to get Heather to talk to me again."