If I Stay✔️

48

Callan chewed nervously on his bottom lip, he'd always been a terrible liar, the action — his tell, letting Zac there was indeed more of his younger siblings who inhaled these toxins. Hadn't they learned anything in health class?

"Cal... please."

"Carter," he admitted, though his tense posture told Zac he wasn't quite done. "And?" The older man asked, tilting his head as he continued to stare at the nervous teen. "Alex." You're fucking kidding me.

"What about Ace?" Zac asked, the anger he felt clear in his tone.

"No," Callan shook his head, gulping harshly, he knew he was in deep shit. Not only him, but now Carter and Alex too. Fuck, they're gonna kill me. "Ace hates smoking, he's never even tried it." He said, honestly.

"Good," Zac clicked his tongue, making his way towards the bench to their left, his knees feeling like they'd buckle at any second. More than half of his younger siblings were smokers and he never knew? The feeling of failure played heavily on his heart once more, and he could feel his eyes burn. Was I really that blind? First Leo, now this? Am I even cut out for parenting?

Callan joined him on the bench, his movements somewhat hesitant. "I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling disappointed in himself. Knowing and allowing your younger siblings to smoke was definitely not what an older brother should do. Callan knew that... so why didn't he say anything?

"I should've told you. I shouldn't have let them smoke." He said sorrowfully, anxiously pulling yet another cigarette from his jean pocket.

Zac stared at him, bewildered by his actions. "Seriously?" He breathed, his tone clearly defeated.

Zac knew there was nothing he could do right now, he didn't have the physical or mental strength to give Callan a lengthy speech of why not to smoke. He'd have to do that later, along with reprimanding his other brothers.

"This is a stressful conversation." Callan said innocently, smirking slightly, hoping to ease the tension with some playfulness. Holding the cigarette between his teeth, he flicked the lighter before burning the tip and inhaling deeply. "I'll stop tomorrow, how's that?" He offered, knowing his statement was nothing but a big fat lie.

"I call bullshit." Zac grunted, clearly unpleased. He could remember the days his mother would talk about dieting. I'll start Monday, bambino. Whichever Monday she had in mind, well... it never came.

"Yeah, me too." Callan snorted. Taking a drag of his smoke, he fiddled with the lighter in his free hand before glancing at Zac. "I am really sorry though, honest."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Cal." Zac sighed and placed his hand on his brothers shoulder, giving him a soft, yet, strained smile. It wasn't fair of him to hold Callan responsible, not when he was only a teenager himself. "I was being to harsh, fratello. It's not your place. Anyway, I should've noticed."

"Z," Callan tutted as he exhaled the smoke from his lungs. Shaking his head, he dropped his gaze to the floor before lifting his eyes to Zac's. "It is my place. You're not alone in this, they're my siblings, too. And you really need to stop being so hard on yourself. They're kids, teens, they're going to make choices you don't agree with."

Zac sighed, half heartedly. Callan was right, they were kids, it's inevitable that they'll make mistakes. And no matter what, Zac would be there to piece the parts of them back together. Yet, even knowing this, the pressure in his chest never faded.