UnderAsriel

16 - Failure?

The castle's ramen-obsessed cook turned out to be a yellow dinosaur-like creature just a bit shorter than Kel, wrapped in a rather stained white uniform complete with the puffy white hat Kel associated with cartoon chefs. She was busied over a boiling pot of something and didn't seem to notice them as they came in, shutting the side door quietly behind them. Her scaly face was knit in a frown and the spectacles perched on the end of her snout were completely clouded in steam.

She looked like she had her work cut out for her. The kitchen itself was an absolute disaster. Piles of dirty dishes built towers by the sinks. Onion wrappings and potato peelings gathered dust in the corners. The counters were cluttered with everything from tire-thick cooking tomes to stacks of chipped china tea cups. The walls looked like fifty toddlers had decided to have a food fight. Bags of rice and pots and pans were scattered all over the floor, and the poor dinosaur was perched among them, precariously balanced on a broken casserole dish.

Worst part of it, though, was that aside from the mess, it looked like an actually good kitchen. It was big, roomy, heavily applianced, with everything just in the right spot. It looked like a wonderful place to cook in... if only it wasn't so trashed.

Kel found herself screwing up her nose at the sight. No way she would ever have let her kitchen get like this. She wondered how many people the cook was cooking for, and whether she had any help at all.

I'd help, if I lived here, she found herself thinking. She liked to cook, and the state of the kitchen got seriously on her nerves.

"Alphys!" Flowey called through the sounds of five things burning. "I brought the human."

The poor cook jumped so high, Kel could've fit one of those stone pillars outside comfortably underneath her. There was a squeak and a crash as she fell over into the jumble of metal pots and pans.

Kel hurried to help, shoving aside the two cookbooks and the cutting board that had collapsed in onto her chest. She grabbed the dino's clawed hands, dragging her up out of the mess.

"O-oh m-my g-goodn-ness," the cook stammered, eyes so huge they dwarfed her clouded glasses in comparison. Kel dropped her hands, and she began nervously playing with her fingers, staring at Kel like she was the lost city of Atlantis.

"Hi...?" Kel said awkwardly.

"Oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness," she muttered, still staring at Kel. She didn't seem about to stop anytime soon.

"Alphys," Flowey said dryly, appearing on the fan over the oven. "She's a human, not an art exhibit. Quit the looking."

"Right, right." Alphys shook herself, the wide look not leaving her eyes. "I'm sorry, sorry. It's just - wow." She took a moment to breathe in a big gulp of air, as if she'd been underwater for hours. "I've never seen a human - seen a human before. You guys are...your eyes are a lot smaller than I thought they'd be."

"...Thanks?"

"But you must be hungry, of course," Alphys continued quickly, turning around and climbing haphazardly through the jumble on the floor. "I don't have any ramen - I need to run to Waterfall today. But uh. I still have other noodles, they'll have to do. I have some spaghetti - the Guards like it a lot, though I keep telling them it's unhealthy... sometimes it feels like Papyrus is the only one on my side," she sighed, digging up a slightly squashed box of pasta.

"Alphys, she doesn't need noodles," Flowey informed her loftily. "I was right. They can live without them."

"Really?! But-" Alphys whirled around to stare in surprise at Kel, who nodded. "But... but that's all they eat in the history books!"