I Don't Need New Friends

21. Blip Bae

Bucky rested his head on top of hers and tried to calm himself by just trying to "be in the moment", like Dr. Raynor and Sam kept reminding him to do. He tried to do one of the exercises that he was supposed to do to stay grounded. He inhaled deeply, trying to commit her scent to memory, as it was one of his strongest senses, and even when he was the other guy, he could still remember "good" smells. He opened his eyes to take in the sight of another human willingly touching him, even though she knew his story, knew all the horrible things he'd done. He listened to her breathing, slow and steady, and tried to match it. He let himself feel the warmth of her surrounding him. Let himself go. He wasn't the other guy anymore. He wasn't the young man he was before the war. He was the sum total of his experiences. He was okay. He was safe...

Zoe pulled away first, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable. "You okay? Sorry that got a little intense...my brain goes a kinda soft during these things. Please let me know if I cross the line."

"It's okay. Really." He smiled warmly, trying to cover his reaction. Then he noticed the time. "Shit, it's almost midnight." Bucky muttered. "Gotta check in one more time with Sam."

"May I?" Zoe asked, holding out her hand for his phone.

"Knock yourself out." He grinned, unlocking his device.

"You going steady yet? She pass you a note in study hall? Are you going for malts when this is all over?" Sam ranted. "Can she even fit in your teeny tiny kid-sized letterman sweater?"

"She's too busy kicking the living shit out of the class clown, thanks..." Zoe snarled into the phone. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh shit! Hi Zoe! Sounds like you're, uh, feeling better!" Sam stammered. "May I please speak to Bucky now?"

"You're lucky I love you, jackass..." Zoe grumbled, passing the phone back to Bucky.

"What did you do?" Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Nothing! But we gotta come up with some sort of system to let me know it's her on the phone and not you." Sam said defensively. "What have you guys been up to?"

"Not much. Just trying to wrap my head around why you never mentioned Steve and Nat had an arrangement while you were on the run..." Bucky said through gritted teeth. "...didn't think I might want to know that little tidbit?"

"THEY DID WHAT?!?!?!?!?!" Sam screamed into the phone. "Hold the fuck up! Those two?! Right under my damn nose?!?!?!"

"You really didn't know?" Bucky laughed, relieved. "I guess that makes me feel better..."

"I can't believe this!" Sam gasped. "How the hell did I miss that?!?!?"

"Not sure. Steve wasn't exactly subtle when it came to women. Nat, on the other hand..." Bucky speculated. "She probably had him scared shitless to let anything slip."

"So am I the only one who didn't know?" Sam whined. "I feel so left out..."

"My guess is we are the only people alive who know, so don't cry." Bucky laughed. "Besides, I'm the one who feels like a creep, they were probably still hooking up when Nat and me, uh, reconnected. Not sure how to process that one..."

"You two really do have the same taste in women. That's disgusting, man." Sam chided. "Please tell me you and Sharon never did the do..."

"Oh god, no! She was kind of awful even before we got her blacklisted!" Bucky cringed. "I mean, she was a very capable agent who caved under the pressure of her family legacy and then fucked her uncle."

"DUDE!" Sam yelled then laughed hysterically. "I'm starting to like all the ways spending time with Zoe is warping your fragile little mind, Tinman!"

"What can I say?" Bucky looked around and noticed Zoe was in the bathroom. He dropped his voice to a whisper. "She's incredible. I can't believe she's friends with you."

"Shut the hell up, Terminator!" Sam snapped. "You planning on asking her to the big dance, lover boy?"

"What big dance?" Bucky was confused.

"I'm just messing with you." Sam laughed. "Sounds like you have to defrost some moves there, ice bucket."

"We'll see." Bucky sighed. "Not sure she's into me the same way. I think she's just one of those genuinely nice people. I don't want to be that guy who mistakes kindness for something else, you know?"

"I saw how she looked at you when you ran out of the bathroom, man. Want me to ask her for you?" Sam laughed again. "I don't think you can handle that!"

"Definitely not!" Bucky shot back. "You know anything about the last guy she dated?" He played dumb to see if Sam knew, even abstractly, about her last situation.

"Oh, you mean the Blip bae who broke her heart?" Sam asked. "Nah, she doesn't like to talk about him. My guess is he had someone to go back to when everyone came home."

"Blip bae?" Bucky chuckled. "What the hell is that?"

"A Blip bae, you know? Relationships during the Blip, people getting together to try and 'fondue' away their misery?" Sam snickered. "Only most Blip bae situations didn't survive after the rest of the world came back. Kinda like convenience dating, get it? Can't be with the one you love, so love the one you're with, or whatever?"

"Got it. Sounds miserable. Want to say hi to Zoe?" Bucky asked while handing her the phone.

"Good evening, Samuel. It's just me, don't waste any of your flirtatious barbs..." Zoe giggled into the phone. "How are you holding up?"

"Holding. It's pretty dull here. You and the dinosaur getting along?" Sam tread lightly. "He behaving?"

"He's been great, actually." Zoe smiled at Bucky across the room, knowing full well he could hear her. "He's the best houseguest ever...just like you said. Too bad he's taken!"

"What?!" Both men snapped.

"What do you mean, what?" Zoe laughed. "It's obvious you two have major fucking hot pants for each other! The way you check in and talk about each other, just bone and get it over with! The tension is killing me!"

"Oh hell no!" Sam yelled into the phone, loud enough for Bucky to hear. "No fucking way! I'm SO far outta his league! Some people..."

"God, I love you, Sam..." Zoe was laughing hysterically. "Good night, sweet Birdman."