𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 [jonggi]

seventeen

His open shirt offered me a perspective on his fine musculature where my fingers were now lost. My naked torso remained vulgarly slumped on his legs while my head rested on his lower abdomen which rose as he breathed in and out.

To say that making my bed was not a waste of time would be a lie.
I had never even considered this possibility when we first met. To be honest, I expected a complete rejection, or a simple phrase, such as "I'd rather we stayed friends" that would have ugly trampled my heart.

But none of that happened, instead we had sex in the simplest way possible.

For a few minutes now, I have felt him tense up, nervously wiggling his fingertips in the furrows of my mane.

- What makes you nervous? I finally dared.

- N-Nothing at all.

- Do not lie to me, I have the impression to be lying on a rock so much you are tense, I raise the head in his direction by taking support on the mattress thanks to my elbows, I know you Mingi.

He sighs while lowering his eyes towards his hands which played with the end of his shirt.

- I was thinking back to that morning...when we had our fight," he began, "I didn't apologize, so I'm apologizing now," he said, looking into my eyes with a touch of sadness, "I'm really sorry I got carried away.

My heart was beating so violently that I was afraid he would let go. It is true that our quarrel had particularly affected me, nevertheless I did not blame him.

- You were already forgiven the second you left my room. I don't blame you, I never did. On the one hand you were right, I shouldn't have hidden something as big as that from you, and from the others too.

- But you had your reasons that I understand.

- But I think I owe you some explanations on the subject.

He blinked for a moment, surprised by my words. I straightened up in my suit before starting my explanations.

- Very soon after my birth the doctors noticed that I had some difficulty breathing. They did some tests but since I was an infant, not everything was feasible. The tests didn't show anything, so they assumed I had asthma and that it would probably get worse over time. But as I got older, my breathing difficulties were too great for it to be asthma. Ventolin didn't help.  I always felt like I was going to end up suffocating from my lungs burning my left side. I paused for a moment, sweeping my gaze towards his figure, which was still hanging on my lips. One night I came home with a bad headache. I had a fever of forty so my mother didn't hesitate and took me to the hospital. It was there that they finally decided to do more tests on me and found out that I had pneumonia. I was five years old. Nonetheless, it is estimated that I have had it since my first few months. The disease has had time to do a lot of damage and that is why my metabolism is still extremely fragile.

Now quietness spoke for me. My attention was riveted on the white sheets, far too nervous to lay eyes on him. I was just waiting for some kind of reaction or answer that I had heard so many times in my life such as "I'm sorry". But nothing came out. The longer I waited, the more I felt that the silence was growing. That's what made me raise my head slightly worried, an anxiety that turned into sorrow when I observed torrents of hot water leaking from his eyes.

- Don't cry I beg you.

- Are you...are your..... your days numbered? He succeeded in asking me courageously.

A pungent smile stretched my lips. It was a question I usually got in a more direct way, but the sweetness of the words he used comforted me in the answer I was about to give him.

- They're not for now. I am trying a new treatment as you have seen in the past.

- Do you know the chances of success ? he said, wiping his eyes.

- I have no idea," I sighed, "Doctors don't like to get their hopes up for trials that may not be successful.

I felt, to my surprise, the corner of my eyes moisten. This was something that rarely happened. Usually, this subject had become neutral for me, I was living with an illness that I could not erase from my daily life. Only, addressing these words to him was still much more painful than I had imagined.

- Come here," I said, opening my arms.

He sniffed and then came over and hugged me tightly.

- I'm afraid that our love became only a memory and our moments together their ashes.

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Thanks to those who have been reading this story until now, I hope you enjoy it ♡