Forever And Always, You.

Chapter Three

"I don't feel alive anymore."
  Sunsetz - Cigarettes after sex

Present
I hail a cab and shuffle inside, throwing my luggages beside me. I sit there wondering where to go. I can't call my mom, she would probably just throw a 'I told you so face' and I'm so not ready for any one to be a complete bitch about anything.

I'm practically holding everything in, all my emotions inside and I feel at any moment I'll lose it. I change my sitting position and curl up, ready to cry some more, when I look up.

The driver stretches to turn and look at me, probably confused to why I haven't said anything. He looks around his late fifties and his receding hairline had streaks of white and grey hair, he frowns when he sees my face, I am a hundred percent sure I already look like a mess, with all the sobbing I did trying to get a cab. I sniff again and his blue eyes stare at me, and crinkles at the sides.

"Miss? You would have to tell me where to go, if you don't know how this cab thing works." He says stretching his face wide enough to accommodate a smile. And I smile and let out a dry laugh. I appreciated that he saw I wasn't in a good mood and was nice enough to say something comic.

"Can I call someone first? To know where I'm going." I smile embarrassed. "I don't know where to go yet."

He smiles in understanding and nods in approval.

"That's alright miss, whenever you're ready. I'll just drive around, don't want to get a ticket." He says and turns back. He turns on the ignition and starts to drive slowly and in the silence, I grab my phone from my bag and call Jamie. She's the only one who won't judge me, even after everything, or I hope so, people change and I've learnt it the hard way.

I search for her name and tap the call button. Her phone rings twice before she picks up.

"Uh, hey, Liv?" Her voice sounds unsure and definitely shocked that I'm calling and I understand.

"Hey" I croak. "It's me, Olivia." I say and wait for her response.

"Wow Olive, sorry, I uhm...I'm just shocked that you called. How are you?" She asks curiously. I sniff and I try to speak but my voice betrays me.

"Liv? What's wrong? Are you okay? What's happened?" Her voice is urgent and I'm pretty sure she knows it has to do with him. Wow I can't even say his name. I don't want to, I just want to forget every single thing that makes me think of him.

"I'm fine Jay, I'm okay. I just... I just wanted to ask if I could come over and stay for a while? It won't be for long, I promise. I j-just needed to get away, from everything and well I want to start afresh, new city, new people, and all that bull." I say, and my voice is biting and someone listening closely will notice. And the silence at the other end of the phone tells me she knows exactly what I feel and what I want to get away from, I wait unsure if she would accept me.

"Olivia? of course you can, I don't even know why you have to ask! You're always welcome, you're my be-". She pauses. "My friend."

I quickly notice the cut off and feel sad, how we drifted apart over a fight and some misunderstanding. Well, I won't necessarily call it a 'misunderstanding' but I'm ready to move past it.

And I make up my mind to try and fix it up because it's been years. And honestly, if I want to move on, I shouldn't be holding grudges of like over five years ago.