Clato: Cuts Beneath the Surface

Chapter 42

I wander the catacombs backstage for a while, allowing my tears to dry before heading back. They are grey and dirty, not particularly interesting but at least I am alone. When I finally go back Cordelia, Brutus and Enobaria are waiting for me.
"Where have you been?" Enobaria demands.
"Out." I snap. Brutus throws his arms up in defeat and leaves the room.
"Clove! What have you done to your dress!" Cordelia exclaims shrilly. I glance down and notice the torn up train I shredded running after Cato.
"Nothing." I snap. Cordelia looks like she wants to cry. "I'm sorry, I should have treated it better. It really is beautiful."

"Much better than that one you wore to the reaping." she sniffles.

"Never gonna let that go, are you?" We both chuckle a little. Just then the door bangs open and in comes Cato. I stop laughing. He looks disheveled and pale, a boy under too much pressure. I remember suddenly that the only reason he wants to win these games is to win where his brother couldn't. To try and replace his dead sibling for his cold parents.

I avoid eye contact as he explains where he was, finding myself watching his mouth move as he speaks. To my absolute horror I notice it is smudged with gold lipstick. My lipstick.

And I'm not the only one who notices.

Enobaria shoots Cordelia another meaningful look and Cordelia smiles gleefully. "I have to get out of this dress." I exclaim suddenly. I start to leave the room as Cordelia motions Cato over to her.
"Let me help you dear." She takes a washcloth and wipes his face clean. Oh God. What will they think of me now?

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Knowing that the Games are tomorrow keeps me wide awake. Late in the evening I creep out of my room to get some water and find Brutus and Enobaria talking in the kitchen. I sneak behind a pillar before they see me.

"They're too emotional. Especially the girl." Brutus glowers.

"Yes. But you forget they are just children, real human beings." Enobaria says.

"I've been doing this a long time, there's never been a year like this. Is it a mistake to make them act cold when they so obviously aren't?"

"We see it, but the Capitol people do not. At this point we can only let it run its course. It's sad that the two tributes who claim to be in love are not, while...."

"Twelve is faking it?"

"Can't you tell?" Enobaria laughs.

"What happens now?"

"They go into the Arena."

"And then?"

"One of them comes out. Without the other."

"The girl won't survive victory, not without Cato. I don't know what her story is but when I touched her the other night....she comes from a bad place."

"You shouldn't have done what you did."

Brutus sighs and says, "I know, but she's so broken. Its hard not to get attached. I needed a way to make her dislike me so I won't be upset when she dies."

"You don't know that she will."

"You say that every year. But the fact is, at least one of them is never going home." Brutus sounds like he is about to cry.

Enobaria replies, "They are different. Maybe this time there will be a happier ending. They care about each other very much..."

I cover my mouth with my hand to hide a sob and sneak back into my room. Around 2:00 I fall into a fitful sleep.

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I am back in District 2, it's warm and sunny. Clouds chase across the crystal sky the color of Cato's eyes. I wander through town and find myself back at my old house. Favian's house.

He sits on the porch drinking lemonade with me. That can't be right, I'm here not there. The girl laughs and turns so I can see she is not me precisely. Its a 10 year old Clove, not yet shattered but already unhappy. She has already lost her parents. I finger the locket at my neck.

Small Clove finishes her drink and scurries to the tire swing Favian attached to our elm tree. I approach Favian, who still says nothing. He is blurry through the summer haze of heat. Soon I am close enough to see the greying outline of his irises. The peeling porch creaks beneath my feet. There is a knife in my hand.

I plunge it deep into Favian's chest. I watch as the light leaves his eyes. Blood pours from his mouth. And the whole time little Clove swings on her swing, screaming and screaming and screaming. But she doesn't move to save him. Dropping the knife, I sprint away from the screams.

I only stop running when I can no longer hear them. My hand goes to my throat. The locket. Its gone. I have to get it back. Slowly, I trek back, dripping sweat. When I reach the little white house bathed in sun, my younger self has ceased her screaming. Everything comes into sharp focus. I see the locket next to Favian's body and rush to retrieve it. But it isn't Favian.

It's Cato. I've killed him, just like before. Bile rises in my throat as I stare at his unmoving eyes. "No!" I shriek, "No! You were Favian! You're not Cato!" But it's him. I'm sure of it. I turn away from the body. My younger self is still there, swinging back and forth. Back and forth.

"You killed Cato." She says calmly. "You kill everyone that you love." And she shoves a knife in her chest.

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I wake up retching and shaking, surrounded by darkness. The locket is around my neck but I cannot shake the feeling of a knife in my heart. I curl into a ball and let tears stream down my face.

A/N This was a really intense chapter to write, I really wanted to show Brutus and Enobaria in a different light. Please vote and comment, next update will be soon!