All That and a Bag of Chips

Chapter 13

"Sorry, it wasn't planned." Sam drank from her terracotta mug. "I ran into Avery at the club, and..." She took an annoyed breath. "You know, Avery is one of my friends, too."

Collin sucked his teeth. That was bullshit. Sure, they all hung out together for the past three years of college, and maybe sometimes Avery and Sam hung out without him, but Sam was his friend. His. 

"You're mad." Sam observed.

He didn't respond immediately, because he was sure he'd regret it. Say something childish.

He tried to think reasonably. The queer community was relatively small and there was only one gay club in town. He knew that there was no way to avoid Avery completely, but surely his own fucking home should be a safe space. And, with the way she had dumped him, why would Sam want to spend time with her?

Collin took a deep breath, focusing on the dust motes dancing in the sun and not looking at Sam. "It's too soon. She can't be in this house. That's a hard no."

Diana put down the section of paper she was reading and stood. "Sounds like you guys need to talk. I'm going to go take a shower." Then she walked downstairs to the bedroom she shared with Jody, at least on the days Jody came home from her girlfriend's place.

Sam waited to hear Diana's door close before speaking again. "You're right. I didn't realize she was going to stick around for so long, and I had hoped your paths wouldn't cross."

Collin's jaw clenched. "It's just too soon."

"I get it. I messed up. She was just having a hard night."

Collin didn't want to hear about it, but Sam went on anyway, oblivious.

"I know things between you two ended in a spectacularly fucked up way, but she is also grieving the loss of your relationship."

"Seriously?" Collin laughed incredulously. "Seriously?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Sam put her mug down and started picking at her nails. "I think she regrets what happened."

"Cheating on me? Yeah, that was–what did you say?–spectacularly fucked up."

"No, I mean, more than that. She misses you. What you two had." Sam's eyes were still focused on her fingernails.

The words hung in the air. Apparitions of his relationship danced through his mind. He didn't want to hear this. Didn't want to know. Yet, how could he not ask?

"What do you mean? What exactly did she say?" the words spoke themselves. He didn't know if he could bear the answer.

Sam grabbed her coffee and took a long sip and then placed it back down with gentle precision, taking her time to answer. When she finally spoke, it was slow, her words deliberate. "You were reliable. Dependable. Gina is more... unpredictable. In Avery's mind, she felt like she needed to be with a woman to fulfill her identity, some self-concept of being a lesbian, but the reality of Gina is... different from what she expected. Maybe the grass isn't greener, after all."

Collin could feel his chest constraining. A knot forming in his throat. This was the last thing he needed to hear. It wasn't fair to him.

Avery had made her bed. Had literally fucked him over. Her regrets were not his problem.

He picked up his coffee and stood. "I can't do this right now." And he walked into his bedroom without looking back.

Despite the sunlight outside, a storm brewed in his chest. Thunderheads formed and rolled in, waves crashing against the shore of his mind. Anger and sorrow and his ridiculous hangover all coalesced into a massive churning torrent that pricked at his eyes and wet his cheeks.

He bawled into his pillow, giant cathartic sobs that wracked his body.

Hours could have passed. Or maybe it was mere minutes. But when the surge ended and the floods receded, he rolled over and stared at the ceiling.

Something hard pressed into his back. Small, but unyielding. He scooted over and found his phone, which had charged enough to turn back on.

He clicked on the message notification. It was a text from Heather.

Heather: Thank you again for walking me home last night! I hope you made it home safely, too. Let's hang out again soon!

He read it and reread it. Then he read it again. She cared enough to check up on him. She wanted to hang out again.

She was the rainbow after the storm.

Smiling, he rested his thumbs on the number pad and began typing back a response.