When Love Lasts: A Sapphic Short Story Collection

🍒 Chapter 14.1's previous draft

The current chapter 14.1 in Cherry On Top is heavily modified from this chapter in the first rough draft. It is even in a different POV. I changed it because I wanted to have more focus on RJ in the story. The first draft had too much of a focus on Chloe and I wanted to balance it out. 

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Chloe

Miraculously, my body does not combust under RJ's kiss, and I manage to come out of the bathroom unscathed.

Mom has scooped a bowl of porridge for each of us and is adding cuts of fried dough onto them. She looks up as we scurry over to the dining table. "Kuài lái chī zǎo fàn, hái zǐ měn." ("Quick, come eat some breakfast, children!")

"Thank you, Mama." I quickly take over as she tries to sprinkle some salt and pepper. Her vision is deteriorating to the point that she would sometimes sprinkle over to the table. "Let me do it. Sit down and rest."

Mom smiles and stares at us. "Thank you, Chiarong. Also, Ruijun, I hope you don't mind century eggs. I made pork and century egg porridge."

"I don't... uh... I like." RJ shakes her hands and nods her head, giving off quite a mixed signal.

I can't help but chuckle. "Her Chinese is terrible, Mama, don't mind her," I say, giving RJ a cheeky smirk. She frowns at my teasing but is uncharacteristically flustered at the situation.

"Ah, I'm sorry," my mother apologizes. "I wish I could speak English better..."

"No, no, I speak," RJ insists. She points to the porridge and gives a thumbs-up. "I like."

Mom lets out a laugh at that. "What a pretty girl. How come you've never brought her over before?"

Pretty girl? I hope the heat in my face does not show. "We- We always study outside together."

Mom's eyes light up. "Oh, you two study together."

"She's very smart, Mama. Top of the class and everything."

"N- No..." RJ tries to protest, but her subpar Chinese skill is stopping her.

"Top of the class? Wow!" Mom jumps at the statement, just as I expected. "I'm so glad you're studying with Chiarong. This daughter of mine spends way too much time working, and not enough time studying." She proceeds to shake her head exaggeratedly.

I stick my lips out into a pout. "I do study! Right, RJ?"

RJ nods. "Auntie, no... worry. She study. I study with she. "

"Good, good!" The smile my mother is giving RJ cannot be bigger. "Please get her to study more, okay, Ruijun? Our Chiarong is such a workaholic. I keep telling her not to work, but she doesn't listen to me."

"Mama," I say with an exasperated sigh. "I told you, I will only quit my job once you get your surgery."

"And I told you that you don't have to worry about funding that." Mom is equally as exasperated with me. "I'll only do what we can afford. What I want for you is for you, my bǎo bèi nǚ ěr, to enjoy your youth. Study hard. Rest. Play. Hang out with friends."

My pout grows at her every sentence. "We can afford the surgery. I'll work hard until we can. And then, I'll study harder after that."

Shaking her head, Mom turns to RJ instead. "My daughter doesn't listen to me. Help me convince her to stop working, Ruijun."