APPLE WITCH (girlxgirlxgirl)

16. Hilda

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"It's a struggle to house you sometimes, I have to admit it"

Everything that she does is wrong. Sometimes. Just like he says.

Hilda sits across the pack alpha, who in many ways is the only father-figure in her life. Her hands drag over the armrests of her chair, nervous and bored at the same time. The clock on the wall ticks and ticks. It's an invention from the human world that has only recently been used by their pack. The pack alpha likes it. He keeps their only clock on his office wall, being the only one who needs it. Hilda stares at it. Tick tick tick.

Her eyes move over the brown wooden interior of his office. Wooden walls, floors and ceiling. It smells like the forest. There is a vase in the corner, filled with branches from a spruce tree. A fireplace stands behind her, illuminating the relatively dark morning air. There is a painting on the wall, one with Vallin and the pack leader. Across from it there's a window, and outside of it Hilda can see the forest. She wants to be out there right now, and not in here. It's so stuffy to be inside, especially when the pack alpha looks at her in that way.

Like she's done something wrong.

"Hilda? Are you listening?"

She snaps her head towards him immediately, eyes wide. No she wasn't really listening, mind elsewhere. It's hard to focus when he starts talking about these things. When she is reminded of who she is, of what she is. Playing around with Vallin makes it so easy to forget everything. Sometimes she can pretend that she is one of them. A werewolf. A true member of the pack. Someone who loves the outdoors and is happy to work for the pack for the rest of her life. But the pack alpha doesn't believe in fantasies or belonging, he's a very straight-forward man. He believes that constantly being aware of the truth and preparing for the worst is a way of being completely safe. At least in that way, Hilda knows that he cares about her and wants her to be safe. But it's still so annoying. Makes her mind buzz.

"Sorry, I was zoning out"

The thing is, she does her best to fit in. Everybody at the pack has brown hair, so she dyes her to match theirs with the help of their herbalist. It's natural dye from an old family recipe, so it doesn't damage her hair, but it's still playing pretend. Hilda knows that if she were to stop, the truth would come out. The same thing goes for her being shorter and weaker than the others. She doesn't have any werewolf genes to help her out, and no matter how hard she trains she is always left behind. It sucks, it really does. To be reminded of what she is. To be reminded of the curse that she is under.

And sometimes, the way they speak, it's almost like they want her to be thankful. Thankful that they took her in despite what she is. And it's disgusting, because Hilda won't be thankful that they had the basic decency to save a helpless child. She won't be thankful for that, but she will be thankful for the way the pack alpha has treated her as family, and welcomed her in despite the stigma. Every day Hilda wakes up, wishing to be rid of the nightmare that is her truth. That if she stops dying her hair, she'll be blonde. And every time that she looks into the mirror, the reddish orange moon on her forehead is a constant reminder to both herself and everyone around her, that she is worth less. That she is one of those seasonal witches. And that talking about her in front of other packs is taboo.

Showing her to other packs is taboo. Looking at her is basically taboo. What she can do, that's not something that they know. Magic? Hardly. She can't do any magic. Nobody is here to teach her, and as far as she knows autumn witches don't have any special powers. Special strength? That's for werewolves and vampires. She's basically a human here. A human with an ugly mark on her forehead, and very few friends. And humans aren't exactly the strongest beings when compared to everything that the rest of them have to offer.