Deja Vu

9

Teepakorn's(Tine) POV:

"Does it hurt?" i was disinfecting Tine's wound while our friends are just there eating. I told them about what happened and as expected, they were furious. They are my friends, so that's something normal.

"Yeah, but not as bad as earlier." he nodded and  I never expected him still protecting me after everything that happened. I expected him not caring about me, that's what he told me before didn't he?

"Why did you do that?" i curiously asked.

"do what?"

"You still protected me, isn't that none of you business?" he looked at me and i thought that i probably crossed the line.

"I didn't mean it that way, i just...look we already broke up didn't we?" he looked away and continued to sanitize my wounds.

"Yeah, we did." i gulped and i just nodded. Then why would he react like that? He came back for what?

"Then, i don't think you coming back there was necessary."

"If i never came back then what would've happened to you then?" i stared at him and he was getting irritated.

"I can handle it myself-"

"No you can't, what are you gonna do? Cry in front of them and beg?" he made a point, that's probably something i might do since i'm a very soft person.

"See? You're lucky i still came, if not then that asshole could've did something worse."

"You didn't have to, I didn't even asked for your help."

"Do i look like i care? I helped you and the least you can do is atleast thank me for it." he rolled his eyes and i don't really get it, he should hate me. Not the other way around, he even told me that two years ago.

"You shouldn't care for me at this point, you told me everything two years ago remember?" his eyes were now full of guilt. I can tell that. I looked away and things became i little bit more awkward.

"What do you wanna know?" huh? I was so confused at this point.

"About what?"

"About our past." Now i see where this is going.

"Everything that you said, the day we broke up...was it all true?" i almost stuttered. Remembering the way we broke up, it still hurts me. I must admit it, i still have feelings for him. But i'm mad, i'm still mad about what he did.
He looked at me nervously and gulped, he looked down on the ground.

"No." what? Then why did he tell me all that? Did he really want to break up with me so bad?

"What?T-Then why did you.." i had no strength to continue the sentence i wanted to say.

"I had no choice Tine."

"What do you mean?"

"I was scared for my own reputation, you know that i was gonna be the next CEO of our company, i had a name to protect. I thought that if they knew that i was dating you, they would hate us both." he looked at me and i was breathing pretty heavily. I don't know what to feel, i feel pain and anger at the same time.

"I was willing to support you Ai'Wat, but you chose to let go." i was tearing up but he was wiping my tears. I pushed his hand away from my face and looked at him.

"I was wrong, i know that i fucked up Tine. But that day, i tried to catch up to you. I ran outside just to take everything back and apologize but you already left. I knew you hated me so i never contacted you nor met you. It broke my heart just how i broke yours. After a few days, that's when i heard that you're leaving the country. Man and Boss were there comforting me, they knew how bad i was feeling. I'm sorry Tine." i can't process these things anymore, it was too much to take. I feel like he was ashamed of me.

"Did you even consider my feelings back then? Did you even think that i was feeling hurt too? I was miserable Wat, i felt like you fooled me for lots of years."

I was sobbing, this kind of revelation tore me. I can't process everything in my mind right now, i absolutely can't focus on anything. Before i even knew it, Sarawat pulled me onto him and hugged me, i was sobbing so hard on his chest and i couldn't bring myself to hug him back because of the pain i was feeling. I felt like he was so ashamed of me, he didn't want anyone else to know about us.
I brought myself to hit him on his chest and he never fought back. He couldn't blame me, he knew everything he said that day tore me apart. He was just there comforting me while telling me that i can hurt him more, that it was all his fault so he deserved it. So i did. I punched his shoulder, i hit his chest, and i was biting my own lips just so i can stop crying. He was rubbing my back to calm me down and he pulled back to wipe my tears. He was also tearing up but i can see that he was trying not to.
He kissed my forehead and stayed like that for a few seconds.

"Let me make it up to you Tine, please" he said. I didn't know how to respond, i was still numb after all the things he said.

"Just so you can hurt me again? You are a public figure, you have a name to protect. Don't love me if you can't fight for me." i spoke. I couldn't stop myself from stuttering after all the tears i cried right in front of him. He rested his face on my shoulder and hugged me again.

"I promise that i will never hurt you again Tine, at this point i don't really care about what other people would think of us. I love you Tine. I love you so damn much, please give me a chance." those words, those exact words were the ones i was longing for a few years. But right now, i don't want to give in just yet. I feel so empty, even when i finally have him in my arms. I can't love you back just yet Sarawat, you broke my trust already. Maybe soon, but not now.