My Safe Place

I Care About You

Tobio
6am, Saturday Morning

It has been two weeks since I last saw Tsukishima. I didn't get in contact with him much because it was a really busy week for everyone, including him. But that's okay, I'm meeting him later this afternoon! He said he'd pick me up at my university when I was done since we were going to his apartment.

I wonder why he didn't want to meet at the cafe? Maybe he just wants to hang out at his place for now. I sat up and went out of my room. While making coffee in the kitchen, Shoyo went to the fridge to get some water.

"You have plans today?" He asked, then leaned against the fridge.

"Yeah, meeting my friend later, just going to hang out at his place."

"You know you can just say you're meeting Tsukishima, right?" He said with a small grin and raised eyebrows.

"What the fuck? How did you know? That's impossible. I didn't even say anything to you."

"You'll understand soon, but that isn't my concern right now. So do you like the guy? "

Soon? What do you mean by that? And Jesus Christ, it's early in the morning and this is our conversation? I have never been so confused and curious in my life.

"Shoyo, stop with the random questions. It's been years. I'm over him. " I lied.

"Sure, whatever you say... just putting it out there, he's a good guy."

He said this while going back to the living room to exercise. I was left in the kitchen, frozen, not knowing what to say. I'm so lost; since when did Shoyo know I was meeting up with Tsukishima?

I shrugged it off and went back into my room to prepare. I decided to wear something different, you know, not my regular hoodie with sweatpants outfit.

I put on some black slacks paired with a fitted white tee and a beige shirt jacket to top it off. Okay, this feels weird, but honestly, I look good. Tsukishima was always dressed when we met up, so being in the same clothes is a little irksome. I left my room and put my shoes on by the door step.

"Ayo, what's with the outfit change? occasion perhaps? Oh or are you looking good for-"

"Shut it, please before you break another nerve in me, Shoyo."

"Fine, have fun with your date later." He snickered.

"Fuck you."

I said while closing the door behind me. What's up with him? Did he eat anything because whatever he was on was irritating.

As usual, I stopped by a store for food before going to my university. I can't wait for this to be over.

Kei
1pm, Saturday Afternoon

He said his classes would end early today, so I should be here at one pm. I was about to text him, but I heard a knock on my car's window. It's him, Kageyama. I quickly opened the door and he sat in the passenger seat beside me. He greeted me with a smile.

"Hey, you look nice today." I hesitated.

"T-thanks, you too."

I nodded in response and started to drive. Why did he decide to be all hot now? God, it's hard to concentrate when I can side eye him.

"Tsukishima, are you okay? You're gripping the hand wheel hard," he said with concern.

"No, no it's nothing, I'm fine." I reassured him and loosened my grip.

Moments later, we finally arrived at my apartment. We took a seat by the table and chatted for a bit. We talked about our weeks and updated each other. After that, I decided to bring up the topic.

"Hey Kageyama"

"Yeah? What's up? You're tone changed. "

"It's just, remember the time you were drunk? I wanted to bring this up because you said something to me. "

"Wait, what did I exactly say?"

"You asked me if I would ever be disappointed in you. You told me you were scared about it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. It's just, maybe it was a topic you're not ready to talk about. "

He was shocked while looking at me. His cheeks turned pink and he immediately broke our eye contact.

"I was going to talk to you about this, but I didn't know when. Since the day we started talking from there to now, I didn't mention anything about it. "

"I care about you, so if you don't want to right now, it's-"

"No, I do want you to know. And I left you confused with something I said. Plus, I trust you..."

My heart sank when he told me he trusted me. The atmosphere suddenly felt heavier than before. It felt hard to breathe, but surely this is even difficult for Kageyama.

He started talking about his family background and how everything was okay until his sister went to college. They struggled financially ever since he was a kid, even until now. His sister Miwa got a scholarship, which made their parents not worry about her tuition.

Miwa told Kageyama not to worry much about money and just do what he loves, which is volleyball. He regretted that decision instead of studying hard for him to get a scholarship as well.

When he entered college, he applied for a scholarship, but he got rejected due to his high school grades. He wasn't as smart as Miwa, and his parents began constantly comparing him to her. He tried his best to get good grades, but he failed.

He did all he could, but that never satisfied his parents' expectations. The best he could achieve was just too small for them.

With the toxicness of his own home, he felt suffocated. Kageyama understood why Miwa moved out during her last year of college. His sister did so much for him to not worry about things. She paid for his tuition and worked in a company that would support her and our family.

No one believed that he could finish physiology. His parents and relatives all criticised him and told him he should switch courses for the better. He wasn't good at taking it all in. He took it personally.

He felt alone, unmotivated, sick. With all this burden, he did even worse in school. This explains why he has Saturday classes now that he is in his 2nd year. He wanted to move out, but he had no money at all. He didn't want to move in with his sister to cause trouble.

Shoyo contacted Kageyama one day and offered that he could stay at his apartment. During those days, Shoyo was the only person he could talk to. The day he moved out, he stayed in his new room and never came out till the next day.

He formed habits for him to cope. He drank a lot. stayed up late. He was a mess, broken, shattered into pieces. One time, he almost overdosed in the kitchen. Luckily, Shoyo came home in time with Kenma and stopped him.

They both hugged him tight. It was painful for Shoyo to see his best friend like this. The three of them talked it out, and Kageyama listened. He was strong enough to fight and keep going. He survived a world where he felt his dreams and choices were against it.

That's why he was scared when the special people in his life would be disappointed in him. scared that he wasn't enough. He was scared that the only people who were there for him suffered because of him. Then he ended his story there.