That's My Spotlight | ✔

xvii. walmart's kris jenner

"A bad habit," Inez shook her head with a crooked smile. "That's what makes you so annoying, Alexander. Why are you like this?"

Alexander nodded. "We're both bored — so can't we just have just a little bit of fun?"

"This is your idea of fun?" The girl questioned with a giggle. "I swear to God, you have the maturity of a fourteen-year-old. I'll say it once, and I'll say it again."

"I'm eighteen, Nezzie," the boy reasoned. "Plus, you're obviously entertained by my 'fourteen-year-old antics' since you're sitting here with me. You know that."

"Okay, alright, whatever you say," Inez gave in as she threw her arms in the air playfully.

Soon enough, Alexander took a bar of granola out of his backpack and unwrapped it before taking a big bite. The bar would only nourish him for maybe thirty minutes at most, but it was the best he could have as a late breakfast.

"Late breakfast, huh?" Inez asked as her fingers brushed on the smooth rim of the table.

"Yeah, something like that," Alexander shrugged before he retrieved his cell phone. He began to scroll through his gallery, which contained a lot of images — cursed ones, in fact. His gallery was filled with weird, close-up selfies, unrealistic photos, and weird carnival ride signs. Alexander tapped on a picture, which contained a skeleton on the floor. But it wasn't just any skeleton — it was a skeleton that was shaped as a spider. It had eight legs, eight eyes, and the body of a spider. "Look at this."

"Ew, what the fuck is that, Alexander?" Inez gagged as her head leaned back.

"It's a spider, duh," the boy snickered before he exited the photo to glimpse over the rest of his gallery.

"A cursed one, you mean. That's so scary, I can't believe you right now," the girl shook her head. Frankly, she was ultimately disgusted by what her eyes just saw. She wished she could erase it from her memory, but there was no way to make that possible. "You're so annoying and disgusting."

Before Alexander could say anything else, the school's librarian, Ms. Dunn, a middle-aged woman with a Kris Jenner-like pixie cut, walked by with a screeching cart of books. "Please keep your voices down. Other people are trying to concentrate," she reasoned before her index finger pointed to Alexander's empty granola bar wrapper. "And no eating is allowed in the library."

Before they knew it, Ms. Dunn walked to the nearest set of shelves and began stocking the empty parts with books. Alexander and Inez faced each other with bland faces before erupting into laughter.

"Sheesh, I can't even grab a bite to eat in this place," Alexander grimaced as he crumbled up his granola bar wrapper before placing it in the side pocket of his backpack.

Inez pointed to a sign plastered on a nearby wall. "That's because food isn't allowed."

"Whose side are you on here? My side, or the lady who is literally the Walmart Great Value version of Kris Jenner?" Alexander questioned with a chuckle. "A granola bar is barely food. Plus, I wasn't going to make a mess. I'm not that annoying."

"I guess you have a point," Inez shrugged. "But in that case, don't let the Walmart version of Kris Jenner tell you what to do. She seems a little cranky today."

"Finally, we can agree with each other on something," The boy said. Then, he turned back to his phone as he scrolled through more images — cursed ones, in fact. He tapped on an image of Ronald McDonald standing in a corner with his fingers clasped together with a cheeky grin. "Look at this."

"Is that Ronald McDonald? Why does he look like that?" Inez gagged in disgust. "I'm not going to lie; he's always creeped me out as a kid."

"Maybe he's a little creepy, but the look on his face, though. It's priceless," Alexander remarked as he zoomed in the image. "He looks like he's about to murder somebody."

"That's what makes Ronald so creepy," the girl shuddered. Like a lot of people know, Ronald McDonald is McDonald's discontinued clown mascot that was aimed for children. However, a lot of children tend to find him creepy — and Inez Archer happened to be one of those people. Even as a teenager, that didn't change her opinion on the overly creepy clown.

"He's mid to me," Alexander shrugged before he turned to the girl, a smirk crawling up on his lips. "What, are you scared of Ronald?"

"What? No, not at all!" Inez shrieked in denial.

"They say that the loudest person in the room is the one who's lying," the boy teased.

"No one says that," the girl shook her head. "Literally no one."

Within seconds, the librarian stopped stocking shelves mid-sentence before storming up to the pair's table. "That's it," Ms. Dunn fumed, her pale face reddening as she threw her hands in the air. "Out! Get out!"

The pair took a glance at each other before they erupted into small giggles as they gathered their things so they could leave. Inez dropped off her borrowed books at the circulation desk before they both settled out of the library.

"Sheesh, she's really cranky today," Inez mused as she shook her head. "She didn't even give us some kind of last warning or something."

"Yeah, you're right about that," Alexander grimaced as he held the door open for the girl. "But to be honest, she's probably like that because her husband isn't satisfying her enough in bed."

"Alexander," Inez hissed before she cupped her hand over her mouth. "You're so wrong for that."

"But it's probably true. She might be dick deprived," Alexander shrugged with a chuckle.

The statement caught Inez off guard. "Okay, that's disgusting. That's giving me a bad mental image of Ms. Dunn doing the nasty with her husband."

"It's traumatizing to visualize," Alexander grimaced with his eyebrows furrowed.

Inez felt the sides of her mouth ache from all the laughter. Frankly, coming to the school library wasn't a mistake. It was way better than staying in class, slumped away into a textbook. Even if Alexander and her got kicked out, it was still fun to experience. It definitely made the class period pass by quicker.

"This period will be over soon, so you should head back to class, Inez," the boy insisted as they rounded a broad corner. "Your teacher is probably wondering where you are."

"Yeah, I've been out of class for a while," Inez admitted as she looked at her feet as she walked, step by step. "But where are you going to stay since you got kicked out? You can't just roam the halls."

"I might go to the lunchroom. It's loud but fuck it. It's somewhere, at least, and I wasn't planning to do any studying," Alexander shrugged. "See you later?"

"See you later." 

a/n: "the Walmart Great Value of Kris Jenner" i'm crying 😭. if you live in the United States, Canada, or any other country that has Walmart, y'all should know that Great Value is an absolute knock-off of popular brands. for those of you living in other countries who may not have Walmart, Alexander is basically saying the cheap, knock-off version of Kris. he has jokes for sure 💀

speaking of Kris, i wrote this chapter when "getting Krissed" started to become popular (july 2022). i don't know if y'all have seen the video, but it's so ✨aesthetic✨. what cool memes have y'all seen lately? any favorites? feel free to share in the comments →

like always, thank you so much for reading. take care of yourselves. love you, kings and queens 💗