Fanboy (boyxboy)

Chapter 11: A little closer

"Now there's a question I have never been asked before.

☆

Ash looks across at Luca's fingers, wrapped around the can.  He pauses, wondering what to say, before simply just going with the truth. "Lucy made me do it."

"Lucy?"

"My friend Lucy. The only one I told about us. Don't worry. I trust her." Ash smiles weakly. 

"Oh ok." Luca laughs it off but feels a little unnerved by the response, not with the fact he had told his friend, but more with the fact that he didn't call him off his own back. He swallows the feeling with a drink, "So was that the only reason?"

"She had a point." Ash continues. "I used to date a lot when I was younger, well, when I say date, y'know, have a bit of fun, but these days, all I ever do is work and talk about money. Or lack of it."

"What do you mean by having fun?" Luca bites lightly on his lip in wonder. He was pretty sure Ash was into men but that element of doubt seemed to shadow him, just for a split second. 

"What do you think I mean, Luca?" Ash chuckles as he looks up at the older male, who's attraction seems to have gone up a notch. Was it the beer? "Y'know, flirt, maybe more. But I was younger then, eager for life, keen to explore my sexuality. I'd just left home, wanting to be free. You know what it can be like living under such restrictions."

"I do actually, I still do." Luca gives off a weak smile. 

"Sorry I forgot. You're famous, blah blah…" Ash waves a hand as if to sweep away the words. "But I'm not like that now. I'm a responsible man. I work hard because I want to fulfil my dream, like you have." 

"You want to be an idol?" Luca raises his eyebrows in surprise. 

"I want to perform. I play the piano. When I was a kid, I used to have lessons. I wasn't great but I was alright. My grandfather used to like to hear me play when he came over for family gatherings. He used to say, one day, I'll be up on the stage playing the grand piano. We used to laugh it off, like it was a fantasy. My dad was a realist." Ash's shoulders slump at the mention of his father. 

"I guess you didn't get on?" Luca wonders. 

"We did until I strayed from the path he had set out for me." Fulfilling fantasies and finding the same sex attractive was not part of his agenda." Ash takes another drink of his beer. "Sorry. I know it sounds depressing. Not what you want to hear right?" 

"It's ok." Luca tries to reassure Ash with a smile. 

"It is ok. I'm fine. I'm doing things my way. I'll get there eventually. Just a few more years here and I'll have enough for college." The moment between them becomes quiet. Ash looks back at Luca. "I'm sorry, I'm just talking about me. I've not asked anything about you." 

"It makes a change to not be talking about me actually. To be asked the same generic questions." Luca laughs. "But for you, I don't mind sharing because apparently you know nothing."

"Don't remind me. Lucy has teased me relentlessly about it already." Ash rolls his eyes. "But that's what you like about me right? He grins, causing Luca to momentarily look down, feeling shy. 

"Yeah it is." He speaks in a quiet tone before looking up. "So what do you wanna know?" 

Ash exhales in thought as he stares into the distance. "I don't know, what do you want me to know about you?" 

"Now that's a question I have never been asked before." Luca gets up from his seat and pulls his bike helmet towards him, before sitting back down. "I love my bike." He says as he looks at the bike helmet.  "It's the only time these days I can feel like I'm free. No one sees my face. I'm truly by myself." 

"And you just ride around" Ash wonders.

"Sometimes,  but there is a place I go on occasion. A place I can go where I can be alone." 

"Where's that?" Ash asks, but tries to take back the question as soon as he's asked it.  "It's ok. You don't have to tell me." He smiles. 

"I don't want to tell you." Luca says as he gets up from the stool once again. He then proceeds to put the helmet over his head.

"Hey don't go! I'm sorry if I asked too much." Ash begins, as he sits up on his seat, but is surprised when Luca offers out a hand.

"I want to show you." The voice comes through the visor. 

Ash looks at Luca briefly before focusing on the outstretched hand. He swallows hard as he reaches out his own hand to take a hold, feeling the pull from the other male to get him to stand. He can just about see the man's eyes through the tinted visor. 

"Come with me." Luca says as he now guides Ash to the rear of the store. He now lets go of Luca's hand. "I'll go get my bike and meet you at the top of the alley, ok?" 

Ash finds himself silently nodding, feeling like he was suddenly being swept up in a whirlwind. Too many statements of incomprehension filling his mind. Yes, this was totally a date, yes, he likes the guy, yes, that man was famous and yes, that man for reasons beyond Ash's understanding, likes him.