Our Last Summer

Chapter Nine

Lena

I was pissed. I was so pissed I could hit Levi. I've never wanted to hit anybody so bad but he kissed her in front  of me and embarrassed me. So now here I was the bottle had landed on Nathan and he looked shocked and frozen

"Lina-" Levi said but I cut him off

" it's just a game, right?" I asked false sweetly and turned back to Nathan pleading in my eyes and I could see he saw it but I was so scared he was going to turn me away.

"Lina," Nathan said then paused then I paused

"No I'm better then this" I said turning back to Levi

"This game is stupid anyways" I said turning away from all of them and walking out of the water

"I think you guys should go home" I heard penny say obviously to Clara and Taylor

"Things we're just getting good" she said and I hated it

"Shut up and go home" I heard Nathan say, I didn't think he would have been so avidly on my side I stormed out of the water not caring if they looked or not I grabbed my bottoms and slipped them back on and then my top and went inside leaving a trail of water up to my room

I climbed into the shower and cleaned myself and cried out of embarrassment for what Levi had done and how rude he had been to do that I got out and braided my hair in two tight Dutch braids and then padded into my room wrapped in a towel and Levi was sitting there

"No" I said ignoring him and opening the drawers pulling out a big shirt and pink shorts. I turned and he was right there so close to me I was pinned between him and the dresser and I was scared

I've only felt this fear a few times and I wish I didn't remember. All had been when I was under a man and I couldn't do anything to help myself

"Levi" i whispered he looked so intense I backed up

"Lina listen" he said but I cut him off

"Levi I'm scared, your scaring me" I said my voice sounded so weak. So distant. And I hated it I wish I was strong.

He looked taken aback I was clutching my towel to my chest my breath was coming faster and then he finally stepped back and I could breath my hand flattened on my chest and I sucked breaths in and he looked worried

"Lina I didn't mean to scare you" he said taking a step forward his hand stretched out

"No, no stop" I said stepping away from him, he had the nerve to look offended

"Why are you overreacting" he said not looking sorry anymore and I stopped breathing. Was I overreacting?

"You have no, idea what the hell your talking about" I said quietly to him he threw his arms up in exasperation

"Then let me in on the big secret, Lina, you scared I'm going to hit you! How ridiculous is that" he said and I could cry but I was feeling so much rage at him for Taylor and for everything he's just said

"I was raped." I spat at him "I was raped and so yes I got scared when you pinned me against the dresser. Yes I got scared when you didn't move. It's not ridiculous, you are." I said my anger poring out of me in those words "I'm not overreacting, I'm not being stupid and dramatic. Because you are the one scaring me and reminding me of those nights, the times that he would pin me down under him and up against walls and hurt me and do horrible things to me. It's called flashbacks" I said glaring at him he looked so shocked, there were so many emotions running though his eyes. "That's the big fucking secret, happy now" I asked his eyes were searching me