Make Our Days Count: In Your Memory

Chapter 8: Being With You, Again

"The truth is, I'm really scared, Xiao Gu." Xiang Hao Ting began talking, his voice slightly trembling at the thought of Yu Xi Gu listening to him. "I'm scared of being with someone. And I don't want you to know how ruined I am. I tried so hard but I just can't anymore."

Xiang Hao Ting was trying his best to keep his tears from flowing.

"I don't want to say no to anything you say. I want to be with you. I want to go out on dates with you. I just want you to be happy." It was Xiang Hao Ting saying all those things for the first time in years to Yu Xi Gu, but differently.

Yu Xi Gu felt like he already knew everything Xiang Hao Ting was saying, like he knew the reason Xiang Hao Ting's eyes changed everytime he looked at Yu Xi Gu; like he knew those words somewhere deep down in his heart since the first time they met.

"I really wanted to apologise to you, Xiang Hao Ting. I really was being such an asshole, not even knowing how you feel. But I want to do all those things with you as well. I love you, Xiang Hao Ting. Please believe in me."

Xiang Hao Ting was repulsed hearing such words from Yu Xi Gu. He was so afraid of his feelings for all these years. He was scared to face Yu Xi Gu but he couldn't stay apart. He was scared to come today and talk to Yu Xi Gu but he wasn't able to resist the urge to talk to him. He wanted to be happy, again. He wanted to hold Yu Xi Gu's hand again. He wanted to laugh with Yu Xi Gu again. He realised how cruel their fate was, that he fell in love for Yu Xi Gu again nonetheless. He loved Yu Xi Gu for who he was now and who he was before as well. He knew in heart that he won't be able to let go Yu Xi Gu ever.

"I....if I say that I love you would you be okay with someone like me?" It wasn't easy to let go the insecurity in his heart.

"To tell you honestly, I love someone just like you." Yu Xi Gu said with a bright smile, slightly giggling. "But really, I love you and it will remain the same no matter what."

A scene suddenly flashed in front of Xiang Hao Ting, from the past.

While they sat under the star jaded night sky, Yu Xi Gu had told him all about his painful childhood, how his parents had died when he was young, how he didn't want to become a burden for his aunt. He had never opened up to anyone before. Xiang Hao Ting, at that moment had decided to make this person happy for the rest of his life. Xiang Hao Ting still remembered how Yu Xi Gu said he loved him in a soft voice, so pleasing to his ears.

After the accident, Xiang Hao Ting avoided meeting Yu Xi Gu or seeing him as he was afraid his memories could get triggered, even the unpleasant ones. He was only relieved when he learnt that it was difficult for Yu Xi Gu to get his memories back, as the injury had damaged his brain to a considerable extent. That fact made Xiang Hao Ting both relieved and sorrowful.

Remembering everything made Xiang Hao Ting break down. Tears flowed down his cheeks silently. He was left speechless.

"I....I..." It was as if the words were stuck in his throat.
"Don't cry, hm? I'll listen to anything you want to say okay. Please don't cry..." Yu Xi Gu said in a heart-breaking voice. He couldn't see Xiang Hao Ting cry somehow. It welled up sadness deep inside him, seeing Xiang Hao Ting like this.

"I am very lacking in everything and I'm still not good with myself but I want to be with you Yu Xi Gu. I love you...." Xiang Hao Ting said, tears flowing from those clear water filled eyes. He had never imagined this to happen to him ever again. He thought he would be unable to love anyone but there he was helpless in front of Yu Xi Gu.

"I'm sorry for loving you, Xiao Gu."

Yu Xi Gu felt a sting of pain in his heart hearing those words. He felt like he had heard those words when he was in the hospital, getting treated. Yu Xi Gu felt incredibly happy at the moment, like he had found something he was missing for a long time. Like he had found the piece that completed his puzzle. Like he had found someone to fill the void in his heart.

"I love you, I want to be with you, Xiang Hao Ting. And don't you ever say sorry to me. You are the best person I could ask for in my whole life."

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hey guys... it definitely might feel a bit rushed but here it is! I tried my best to write what they both must be having in their minds. it was so heart-breaking to imagine Xiang Hao Ting cry in that situation. i hope y'all enjoyed reading it tho~