Make Our Days Count: In Your Memory

Chapter 6: Trapped

"Get your ass out of the bed Xiang Hao Ting!! You have a lecture today, don't you?!" Sun Bo Xiang rushed in Xiang Hao Ting's room not knowing what had happened last night.

"I'm not going. Just leave me alone."

"No, I'm never doing that. You get up right now and tell me what is wrong."

"No, just go away!"

"Okay I will leave. But before that, you need to get up and I'll make sure you are fine first."
Sun Bo Xiang was always taking care of Xiang Hao Ting through all these years and he definitely sensed something wrong.

Xiang Hao Ting tiredly sat up, his eyes clearly bloodshot. Last night didn't go well for him at all. After coming home, he kept thinking about Yu Xi Gu's confession. His mind kept going back to all the times they had spent together, loving each other. Their relationship might've been short-lived but the love he had for Yu Xi Gu was very real and after last night, it was as if someone had made another wound on Xiang Hao Ting's healing scar.

"So it's really morning huh? Yesterday really happened?"

"What are you talking about? Get it together please." Sun Bo Xiang was genuinely worried now.

"If I had never met Yu Xi Gu, would my life have been better now. I hate myself for being like this Sun Bo Xiang. It just hurts more and more as time passes. I love him. I love him so much...."
Xiang Hao Ting couldn't hold back his tears anymore. He was bruised too much now. He was worn out and tired of keeping his feelings trapped. Last night, in that one moment he had felt like telling everything to Yu Xi Gu and tell him how much he actually loves him.

'I cannot tell Yu Xi Gu anything at all...more like I cannot. No, I SHOULDN'T!' Xiang Hao Ting only wanted to protect his love from the past scars. He wanted Yu Xi Gu to smile brightly everyday. He wanted his happiness. That's all Xiang Hao Ting has ever wanted, even if he himself has to sacrifice. He was trapped. Trapped in the web of his own feelings and his past. He knew he had to get out of it but he couldn't. He was never able to. And now, it only seemed as if he was getting more trapped day by day.

"I hate myself for having all kinds of thoughts. I hate myself for even regretting loving Yu Xi Gu. I cannot do this Sun Bo Xiang." Xiang Hao Ting said with tears in his eyes, his voice trembling. Sun Bo Xiang couldn't see his friend in so much pain. The friend who had always been there for him. He had to do something, but he couldn't.

"Okay, let's get you out of the bed first, alright? I don't want you doing something stupid."

Xiang Hao Ting lifelessly just sat up, spacing out.
'What had gone wrong? I should've probably never met Yu Xi Gu again after the accident. This was never going to turn out well...'

"So, I think i might just go attend my classes so I can maybe distract myself. I just want to stop the thoughts going on in my head right now."

"Okay great! Get ready or we'll be late. And listen, you are fine okay. None of this is something that you have done wrong. And even if you feel it is, I'm always ears."

"Thank you....."

Xiang Hao Ting readied his mind to face Yu Xi Gu.

'I have to reject him after yesterday's confession. This all ends today.'

Xiang Hao Ting made up his mind to forget about the past and get out of this trap.....even if it'd hurt Yu Xi Gu.