望み [hope]

" same thing, different day "

I opened my eyes, it had turned morning now.

I got up, dragging my feet across the floor.

I walked to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and looked away.

I took my brush, put toothpaste and brushed my teeth.

It was the exact same thing everyday, though I had no hope of any changes, I do hope that no one else ends up like me.

I changed my clothes and went to the shrine to pray.

For my dead family.

I had just realised, it was raining ..

I walked up the staircase, sat down, and prayed for my family. That was the least I could do after that incident.

It was my fault, afterall ..

After I was done, I went back home for breakfast. I had not eaten yesterday, yet I didn’t have any feeling of starvation, I was used to it.

I went to the kitchen and took out the leftovers of the day before yesterday.

I sat down and stared at the tree outside of my house.

It reminded me of my brother, we used to play there as children.

“Sister! Will you play with me?” that voice.. that familiar voice ..

I shaked my head to snap out of these absurd thoughts.

As I finished my food, I got up and changed my clothes ‘cause I had school.

: : :

I waited at the bus stop for my bus.

I waited and waited ..

It didn’t come.

Was I late ? Or is it simply that they do not wish to pick me up ?

No matter the reason, I have to go to school, I have never in my life missed a single day of school.

I will not miss school, even if I have to walk.

I walked and walked.

My legs were begging for me to stop and rest.

I did not stop.

When I finally reached there, the gate was closed ..

I deeply sighed and sat down outside the gate.

My legs were throbbing from that walk I did from my house to here.

I guess, this is the first time I missed school.

“oi kid, get up” I heard a voice.

I looked up.

It was just the gatekeeper.

“what are you doing outside the school at this hour? Were you doing some illegal things?-” she started lecturing me.

“no. My bus didn’t come to pick me up, I walked here but I was too late.” I interrupted her.

“that is not my problem, if you missed the bus then you should’ve stayed home, why wouldya’ walk to school??” She questioned.

“I simply did not wish to miss school.” I replied.

“Go home now, I can’t let you in now.” She said.

“My legs are throbbing from that two hour walk, I’m going to sit here for a while.” I replied again.

“okay then.” she said as she walked away.

I sat there in complete silence until I saw a cat, it came towards me.

It had white fur, it’s face was black and it had blue-ish or gray-ish eyes.

I stared at it for a moment and then I petted it.

Then it ran away.

I waved it goodbye.