Decision | Damianya (Spy X Family)

Chapter 02 - Confirmation

That night, I lie in my bed quite restless. I need to decide whether to ask Anya to go to the prom with me or not. It may seem something easy, but it's not. It's not just a simple invitation to a party.

It's a realization.

If I ask her to the prom, it means I have finally admitted my defeat. It means that Anya Forger has finally won over Damian Desmond.

I'm not ignorant. I know what pulses inside me when our eyes meet, when she talks to me, and also when she accidentally touches my hand.

I know that, if I ask her to the prom, I won't want to stop there. I will want her company more and more.

However, I'm afraid. Very afraid. I may look tough and arrogant on the outside, but on the inside, I sometimes feel like the most coward of all men. I'm afraid of screwing up something that hasn't even started yet...

That's why I need a confirmation. Something that makes me sure I should go ahead with this idea.

I'm tired, very tired...

I turn over in bed and pick up the photograph I left on the bedside table. I look at my child self again and the anguish I felt in the morning wants to take me over once more. Then, I look at Anya and that feeling immediately disappears. I barely notice when I drift off to sleep with the photograph resting on my chest.

I had a dream.

I'm walking up the stairs of what appears to be a rather pretty house. I know exactly where I'm going: to my bedroom.

I come into the room and head towards the en suite bathroom, but something catches my eye. I lay the newspaper that would keep me company on the throne on the big double bed.

I see that the door of my closet is opened and clothes are spread all over the place.

Someone's been messing with my stuff.

I go there and confirm my suspicions. The clothes in the drawers are unfolded and I even notice that a pair of dress shoes is missing. I take a deep breath.

Then, I hear giggling coming from the hallway, followed by errant, noisy footsteps. I get up and peer through the door.

In the distance, I see two little heads that have the same hair color as mine running towards a bedroom.

Those are my kids. Mischievous little munchkins.

I can't help but laugh internally. I don't even wanna go to the bathroom anymore.

Making as little noise as possible, I make my way to their bedroom. Slowly, I once more peer through the door and see them.

Two boys, dancing madly in front of the mirror. They're quite small. One must be the age I was when I entered Eden Academy, and the other is about two years younger.

I need to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. The eldest is wearing my white dress shirt, with a tie poorly wrapped around his neck, almost at the risk of suffocating him. The youngest is wearing the dress shoes I missed and a jacket, which touches the floor, so big it's on him.

I feel a warmth in my heart and I can't help but smile. Then, I hop into the bedroom, spreading my arms.

"CAUGHT IN THE ACT!" I exclaim. The boys' faces turn completely pale for a moment, but when they see that I have a playful expression, they burst out laughing and try to run away from me, running in circles around the bedroom (the youngest tripped over and fell as soon as he started, because of the big shoes).

It's not hard at all for me to reach them. I lift them both high, they squeal with euphoria, and I toss them onto one of the beds.

"May I know what you guys are doing with my clothes?!" I ask as I tickle them and they laugh so hard they turn red.

"Ha, daddy!" exclaims the eldest, getting rid of my hands and now practically climbing my back. "We wanted to be like you!"

"Be like me?" I ask, taking him and sitting him on my lap. "Why?"

"Because mommy always says you're a 'handsome businessman'," answers the youngest, his little green eyes gleaming at me.

"Mommy says that?" I ask, looking suspiciously at them. "Never heard..."

"What's going on here, huh?" A female voice comes from the bedroom door, and the boys and I turn.

In that instant, my nineteen-year-old-dreaming self seems to realize that this woman is none other than Anya.

I feel my heart race.

She's standing in the doorway, beautiful as ever. Now, she's no longer a young lady, but a woman. Her hair is tied in an elegant, high bun. In her lap, an eight-month-old baby girl starts laughing at me. It's an exact copy of Anya.

"Oh, no! Mommy's here!" exclaims the eldest, trying to hide behind me, "We're in trouble!"

Anya immediately realizes what's going on and starts giggling softly. However, she also notices that I gaze at her with a certain gleam in my eyes and maybe even with an expression of astonishment.

"Sweetheart?" she calls, walking towards me and gently placing her hand on my face, "Is everything okay?"

Upon feeling her touch, my father/husband self comes back to consciousness and I just shake my head, saying that I was fine.

Anya sits on the bed and our little baby girl opens her arms, signaling that she wants to go with me, giving the cutest toothless smile I've ever seen. This almost makes my heart melt. My youngest boy goes to his mother's lap, who was now unoccupied.

"I'm handsome like daddy?" he asks, lifting his little arms up with my jacket. He swings his legs in excitement and my dress shoes literally go flying across the room. We all laugh.

"Yes, dear... You are," replies Anya. The older one looks at her with a hopeful expression, "you too," she adjusts his tie, so that it is at least decent.

I watch my wife tidy up my kids to make them look more like me and I give a silly smile. My baby girl happily squeals and I lie down, lifting her high. I bring her close to my face and shower those chubby cheeks with kisses. She burst out laughing.

Anya lies down next to me on that small single bed of one of our kids and the boys huddle on top of us. Everyone is smiling at me.

As if in slow motion, I look one by one and feel a great peace grow inside my heart.

At that moment, I feel like the most loved man in the world.

I hear the alarm clock ringing. Groggy, I open my eyes and see that it's already morning. Slowly, I sit up in bed and run my hands over my face.

I remember the dream I had last night.

I finally got my confirmation. I'll ask Anya to the prom.

But, I won't stop there.

For the first time in my life, I'm gonna do something for myself. And not for my father.

For a young man who now has no one in his family who cares about him, the vision I had of that future looked very, very promising.

Quite different from the lifestyle shown by Donovan Desmond.

I've decided that I don't want Anya to be just my partner for prom.

I want her to be my partner for life.