The Release

Chapter 50

"Please, don't hurt me." She squeaked.

"You hurt him. Why should I not hurt you?"

"I'll apologize." Kelsey said desperately. "Wayne, I'm sorry."

Wayne was silent. I glanced over my shoulder and he stood still, blank expression and slack jawed. He was staring at Kelsey's pained face.

"You can't redeem yourself from this."

I yanked her ponytail back and threw her face back onto the floor again. She started to cry, and it brought me joy. I would do anything to anyone who hurts my Wayne.

"You had a breakdown and cut your hair. Right?"

"No!" Kelsey sobbed.

"Then, let's take it a step forward. You confessed what you did to Wayne and I taped it. I tell you I am giving it to the principal. You get so guilty and impulsive so you cut your hair. Is that better?"

"I'm so sorry, please don't do this."

"You want me to stop when you never did?" I spit at her.

I kept her body close to the ground. I took scissors and started cutting off her ponytail. All the way down to the roots. She'll have to shave her head. Her hair was sort of thin so it didn't take me long.

Kelsey was thrashing around at the beginning, then she stopped fighting. It was strange holding one long twist of hair without it being attached to anything.

I stood on two strong feet. She remained on the ground, silently sobbing. Her shaking hands reached back to clutch what was left of her hair.

I felt no remorse.

Wayne's eyes were distant and he wasn't looking at Kelsey nor me. His head was down and his shoulders were slumped.

"Drive me home." I whispered to him.

He started walking out of the room and I followed him. I left the ponytail in the bathroom with her.

I was just a couple steps behind him when we made our way to the parking lot. He parked closer to the school than he usually did. I went to the passenger's side of the car.

He reached in his pocket and got his keys. Wayne fumbled with them. There were only a couple of keys on the keychain. I rounded the car and put my hands on his unsteady ones.

Wayne exhaled through his nose. His fingers brushed against my palm as I carefully removed the keys from his grasp. I felt him staring at me.

"It's okay." I met his gaze. "Let me help you."

I walked him over to his passenger side. I opened the door for him and he sat down, buckling his seat belt.

Wayne was in distress. I did what I could to help him. I drove myself home in his car with him at my side. After a car ride of silence, I spoke as I parked.

"Do you want to come inside?" I turned off his car and gave him the keys. Wayne nodded his head a little and we went in.

I took my shoes off and he did the same. I didn't say anything about it. He shouldn't feel like he is not welcome here anymore. He still has a life to live.

I got him some water and we sat at opposite sides of the living room. I put one ankle over the other; he tapped his leg.

"You didn't have to do that." He said directly. We both know what he is talking about.

"I wanted to." I clenched my fists.

I hate that he can't remember, but also, can't forget.

"I shouldn't have been with them." I confessed my true guilt. "It was a mistake and I won't do it again."

Wayne pursed his lips and nodded quickly. He rubbed the front of his neck.

"I'm sorry, Wayne." I stood up and he did the same.

Wayne stormed all the way to the front door. I wished I could have understood how much he was hurting. I hoped I knew the feeling someday. The pain that I caused him should come back on me, so I can realize how much I hurt him.

He opened the door. He was going to leave like I did.

"You can text me if you want, okay?" I spoke up. He froze and turned to me.

"Do you know what I want?" He asked me, his tone low and light. "I want to see you again. Please."

The sides of his mouth pointed down. Wayne's eyes were empty.

"I can't bear not holding you everyday." He stepped closer. "I just need to be with you. Please, Bethany Freeman. I just need you."

I watched him reach his hand out and slowly wrap it around my hand. The touch was so delicate, his words so desperate.

"My head hurts constantly. When I wake up and you aren't in my arms staring up at me with those big blue eyes," he smiled sadly, but it faded quickly, "I weep because I feel like it is all my fault."

Wayne rubbed the sides of my wrists and made his way up my forearm. His eyes didn't leave mine. Not for one second.

"I can't take this torture anymore." His voice cracked.

Honestly, I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't want to tell him what I was really thinking.

I couldn't take it either. As the days went on, it got harder and harder to fall asleep without calling or texting him. People say it's supposed to get easier, but it hasn't.

I ate so much in those two weeks that I had gained weight. I lost my will to finish anything but my plate. I am sick.

The silence longed for my answer. I was forced to make a solution.

"I'll meet you tomorrow." I whispered. "Your place. What time should I come?"

Wayne's smile stretched to his ears. He let out a relieved sigh and laughed a little bit.

"Come over anytime you want. I'll be waiting."

He kissed my hand and left.