The Release

Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Wayne

She left me. She doesn't want to be with me. I miss her. I need her. I hurt her.

Harley and I had one time, one year ago. I helped her discover she is a lesbian. I didn't want Bethany to know that.

At the time, I was on a break with Kelsey, similar to the break Bethany and I are having right now. I don't want her to know that either.

I have never desired to be unfaithful to her. I can't do that to someone I love.

I love Bethany. I love Bethany. I love Bethany.

It hurts when I am away from her. I can't go back to my life without her. I was abused. I was drinking heavily. I was in a wildly unhealthy relationship. I can't go back.

I remember the first time I met her. I had visited Simon's house. The first thing I did was shake his mother's hand. She had welcomed me into her home. A girl was on the couch. She was texting on her phone.

"This is my sister." Simon had called out to her, "Beth!"

All I saw were blue eyes. Bright, glowing, shining blue eyes. There was a window behind her and light had surrounded her like a halo. She whipped her head up and a couple strays of dirty blonde hair flew in front of her fair face. Her hair was down, but it was tucked behind her ears.

When she looked at me, her jaw dropped the slightest bit. Her lips separated just a sliver. A baggy t-shirt is what she wore. Her mouth quirked on the right side, and her gaze returned to her phone.

I noticed how quickly she had blushed. I didn't know what had come over me. The moment I felt my chest rise higher than it had before, I knew I was in trouble. I realized no one would be as memorable as she.

Over time, I made her smirk and blush as much as I could. I was distant and, sometimes, cruel when we were around her brother. When he was absent, small touches, bantering conversations, and stolen glances were all I could give her. That changed.

I ruined it. I ruined all of this. I wanted to blame my father, but I could have been more patient. She was in shock. She overassummed; she did that often. I usually comforted her when thoughts overwhelmed her. She would have calmed down if I gave her time. But, there was something inside of me that fought to blame her.

My parent's addictions have become my own.

After she left, I crawled in the fetal position as my chest heaved. I didn't sleep at all that night. Eventually, I had to get up. The sun came in through the front window and blinded me.

I flattened my hand on the wall and stood. My legs were asleep, but I staggered to the kitchen anyway. My brain is pulsing. It's like I could feel the blood streaming down my body to my feet.

I leaned on the counter on my elbows, hunching forward in front of the coffee machine. It needed more water. I groaned and took out the container, filled it with tap water, and put it back.

As the water started boiling, the locks of the front door began to turn. She's here. Bethany's back!

Of course, she should take her time to process this, but she is back to see me. I will explain. She will understand. We will kiss it all away.

"Beth?" I rounded the corner, expecting to see her.

"Hi, honey! I'm home!" David came in and made my migraine worse.

I should just give up. I ran my hands through my hair and took deep breaths. I forced each one out of my lungs like I wanted them to be my last.

"What? Is it something I said?" David smiled and brushed something off his shirt.