The Color of Your Eyes

Chapter 7: Shoulder

Phil was standing outside, leaning against his car, when he saw me approaching him.

"And? How was it?" he asked, grinning.

"Not as bad as I thought," I answered, smiling. "It was quicker, and I am now not a suspect anymore, of course," I said enthusiastically. Then my stomach growled.

Phil burst out laughing, while I looked away, blushing in embarrassment.

"Come, little princess, let's get you something to eat before the entire Duskwood can hear you," Phil teased.

"Hey, it wasn't that loud!" I pouted a little as I crossed my arms, but then I had to laugh with him.

Phil looked around. "We are close to the marketplace, if you want, we can take a walk there and eat dinner, I haven't eaten anything today either."

I tilted my head, weighing my options. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast in my apartment, on the other hand, I'm not thrilled to have Phil to be the first guy to spend time here in Duskwood. I had someone else entirely in my mind.

My stomach growled again. Okay, this is getting really embarrassing!

"Ah, why not," I shrugged. "But it is not a date!" I added firmly.

Phil makes a sad face, pretending to wipe an imaginary tear from his face. I couldn't help but to burst out laughing. The laughing made me feel so much better. Phil was grinning again, and he stroked my cheek, which made me stop.

"You look so much better when you are smiling," he whispered. He looked at me intensely.

I was aware of our proximity, so I started to walk away immediately. "Let's find something to eat!"

Phil walked beside me, hands in his pockets, whistling. I tried to hide my red cheeks. What am I doing? Just because Jake hasn't contacted me in like nine days, doesn't mean I should jump into the next available guy. I remember what Richy once told me; to stay away from Phil as best as I could.

We entered the marketplace, and I was enjoying the atmosphere and old buildings.

"We have all kinds of restaurants and eating place. Café Rainbow, there is an Italian restaurant, there is a burger place, a bit further there is Aurora," Phil was pointing towards a street.

"Looks nice here," I commented in awe.

"Yeah, we also have a Chinese restaurant," Phil turned me around showing another street and I saw red lanterns, my smile immediately disappeared. No, anything but that.

"Are you okay?" Phil asked as he looked at me. "You're pale. Should we sit down for a while?" I nodded as Phil gestured to a bench. I covered my face, trying to calm down my breathing.

"You're hyperventilating, try to calm your breathing," Phil suggested as he stroked my back.

I nodded, trying to hold back my tears. Why is it that anything that reminds me of Jake makes me feel like a wreck? Why can't I just act as usual and move on with life, any other person? Why can't I function normally without him? Why am I still so much in love with a guy I have never heard his voice, let alone know what he looks like? I'm fucked up and all because of a guy. Shit, shit, shit...

It took ten minutes for me to finally be able to breathe normally. I sat up and patted my cheeks, my usual ritual to pull myself together. Phil was just looking at me, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"I'm okay now, I will be fine," I reassured him.

"Are you sure?" he asked worriedly.

"I just need some time, but I will be fine, promise," I smiled, but then my smile faded. Again, something that reminded me of Jake. My throat hurts, and I'm so close to the verge of breaking down.

Phil took off his sunglasses from his forehead, putting them away and turned towards me, now looking very serious.

"Lia," he said firmly.

I gulped. I'm probably not as strong as I thought. If Phil is going to bore me further for details, I might lose control, and then I will become a mess. Not an ideal first impression.

"I can see that something is bothering you. I know you don't view me as the most trustworthy person, but you can talk with me, really," he was now holding both of my cheeks as he looked deep into my eyes.

He had such beautiful black eyes, and long eyelashes. I wondered if Jake's eyes were also black.

"Let it all out, I'm here," he whispered.

I trembled and started to sob. "C-can I borrow your shoulder for a moment?"

Phil smiled and opened his arms, "If you want, I can even offer you my chest."

I couldn't hold it anymore and just crashed my face onto his chest, crying and sobbing hysterically. Phil was holding me tightly, squeezing me while stroking my back. I needed a bit of comfort from someone, anyone, after the horrors I went through. I didn't want to put my misery in the spotlight, but the events in Duskwood have put a toll on me.

I was haunted by nightmares; I had several panic attack every time my phone showed the word "Unknown". I looked over my shoulder every time I'm outside, and I started to be afraid to sleep in the dark.

I gladly would have gone through it all, if I knew that people genuinely meant when they said they liked me. I remembered how Jessy reassured me that I am now part of their friend's circle. I remember how Cleo defended me, I remembered how Lilly tried her best to make up for the video.

Truth was that I was approached by many people after that video. I got nasty calls even till this day, I was almost hacked by strange and scary people who were after Jake.

I was one of the primes suspects in Hannah's disappearance, and yet that didn't deter me from helping Jake and the others to look for her. I was tormented by the man without face, who turned out to be one I considered a friend.

I was betrayed, hunted, hurt, and my name is being dragged through the mud. And for what? For unrequited love and false friendship. Yet, I miss my friends, and I worry sickly for Jake's safety. I just couldn't help it.