as far as it gets | h. rindou

35

Cw; smoking w€€d 👎🏻 (not encouraged especially when you're feeling vulnerable, that's how most addictions start.) mentions of suicide, mentions of teacher-student relationship

June 7th, 2006
12.00, am.

"I heard you threatened Camilia. She won't stop bitching about it, she's going to sleep with her boyfriend." Rika joined you on the rooftop. You still weren't able to get down. You were terrified to move.

You hugged your knees, leaning against one of the enormous fans that gave you warmth.

"What happened?" Rika asked, sitting down by you and handing your phone. You took it, shoving it in your pocket. You were silent.

You were traumatized from what you saw. This wasn't a pain you felt the need to vent out. It was something you wanted to take to your grave. "Aria tried to kill herself."

It was just words right? It was easy to say. But fuck was it hard to believe. It was hard to process. You didn't wanna say it, you didn't wanna admit what you saw. You didn't wanna believe it.

".." rika stayed silent, you couldn't catch her expression because you hid your face in your knees.

The stuff aria said about rindou and all your friends were right as well.

You suddenly felt the urge to isolate yourself, to hate everyone around you again because aria was right. You weren't yourself around your friends. But rindou was different, you were sure he had no expectations for you.

At first.

Now that you knew he was with aria, what would he expect you to do for him? How was aria to him? How did she treat him?

"I heard some of it." Rika shrugged, pulling out two blunts and handing one to you. You accepted it willingly.

She took out a lighter from god knows where, holding the joint with her lips, using one hand to cover the direction of the wind as she lit it.

You did the same, but she lit it for you.

You breathed in, inhaling the drug, uncomfortable with the taste and how hard it stung your throat. You coughed, letting some smoke out.

"Arias a real cunt y/n. Her words are really fucking harsh." Rika exhaled the smoke from the opposite direction from you.

You nodded, pinching the joint with your fingers. "Her words are fucked up but she's hurting."

"And? So hurting justifies the way she treats you? It really pisses me off y/n. Doesn't it hurt? Don't you wanna cry? Aren't you traumatized?"

You forced out a laugh to ease the atmosphere between the both of you, "it hurts but I don't wanna fight her. I wanna cry but I don't wanna be hurt by it. Im traumatized but im already used to things like that."

"Used to?" Rika frowned.

"Yeah. Bad things just seem to tail behind me. It's a curse. Im sure of it. Things got bad ever since aria entered my life, but it's always been fine for me."

"It was durable. I could cope with it with the help of my best friend. Hanzo was a real sweetie. On April 27th, he killed himself infront of me. It went almost exactly as today did but he actually did it." You wished the weed would enter your system soon.

"Oh.. im sorry for your loss. Is there anything more you wanna say?" Rika offered you an ear. It was sweet. With this vibe, you could tell her everything.

But you shook your head no, inhaling the smoke, feeling it kick the back of your throat before you exhaled after a few seconds, watching the smoke fade away.