Explain You

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Quite a coincidence I saw your face
Much more only hours after my final race
Kinda funny how you still look the same
Kinda funny how I still felt pain

How it made me spiral and punch my bed
Kick my walls and wish I was dead
Make my stomach turn and my face turn red
Kind of funny how you still make me feel dread

Ain't it interesting how there was never an explanation ?
How after all these years I can still imagine you
How the memories-yet rusty-can return on command
How I don't hold the same feelings but I can pretend

How every time I forget you
You somehow show up
I think I'm so over you but you prove me wrong
When will I ever come to explain you?
And when will that explanation ever feel like enough to not love you?

Written: late May 2022

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