A Collection of Some of My Favorite Poems, Volume 7, Written by Dan Turner

Santa's Reply

To: Michael

From: Santa Claus, North Pole

Re: Naughty List -

Concerns Addressed

My Dearest Michael,

A good friend of mine

With a heavenly connection

Recently, asked me to review

Your extensive naughty collection.

As for your recent car accident

On a 'frozen' city road.

It occurred in the middle of July

Is what our records showed.

I checked the daily temperature.

My friend Jack Frost told me

The low was only sixty-two.

I'm thinking the road was ice free.

Especially, since the high

Was one hundred and three.

I'm pretty convinced the asphalt

Was totally ice free.

Talking about high,

I see your Tijuana tobacco

Is legal in your state now.

But I can't let this one go.

You have to be twenty-one or over

And only one ounce in possession.

Your twenty-pound stash

Is quite the transgression.

As for the church money

When they pass the collection plate

You're only allowed to add money.

It's not for you to borrow or take.

For the drinking/driving episode,

I see here you purchased the beer

With your fake ID.

I think this one is incredibly clear.

If you wish

We can review the rest.

There are still quite a few.

As I am sure you have guessed.

So, Mike, I hate to tell you

But this is the rule.

This year it's a lump of coal for you.

Our own actions can make life cruel.

But after December 25th

You'll have a clean slate.

At least with me.

Next Christmas can again be great.

Sincerely and Good Luck,

S. Claus