Chapter 34: Part 3, Pt. 1

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Back then, as soon as I stopped breathing, I started wondering if life would always be like this. This hectic, this irrational.

When I eventually figured that it wasn't, that times did change, I was relieved.

That there was more peace to come.

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I just figured that all of it was merely part of growing up.

A phase that had to happen.

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When you're younger you can just experience these different kinds of stories every day without feeling drained or exhausted. They shape you as a person and they define who you become.

They might be overwhelming in the moment but are so little in retrospect.

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Everything had become monochrome.

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Maybe I just grew up to be a really sad and bitter person.

But who would mind that?

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Life is what you make of it and I'm just slightly less alive than average.

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You move out of town and become one in a million.

Still searching for goals that you kept around since you were sixteen years old.

Still missing what you lost then, but it's so insignificant.

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You don't really matter, do you?

Just go to sleep because being awake isn't worth it.


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