Mic: Alright so let's go through your charges, okay?
[She pulls out a sheet of paper.]
Mic: Robbery, Reckless driving, Bullshittin' with food services, 3 counts of murder, verbal assault on a member of the LGB, trash lyrics.
Taco: Hold up, what you talking bout trash lyrics?
Mic: In that rap song.
Taco: That's a crime?
Mic: On Inanimate Island, yes.
[Taco exclaims.]
Taco: THEM BARS WAS FUCKING CRISPY.
Mic: They're calling you a domestic terrorist. You bouta go to jail.
[Taco crosses her arms.]
Taco: If you do do ya mf job, Wild Card. I ain't going to jail-
Mic: It's Microphone. Now listen... you got the cards stacked against you. All the cards bruh... Like OJ bouta come in.
[Taco pulls out her gun.]
Taco: They can't put a mf like me down. That judge ain't shit for nothing.~
Mic snaps.
Mic: YOU KNOW WHAT? WHEN WE GET IN THERE, IMA NEED YOU TO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN...
[Taco puts away the weapon.]
Mic: ...AND SHUT YOUR ASS UP. Let me get to work.
Taco: Ight damn, Ima keep it cool.
[They enter the courtroom.]
Judge Gavel: Yo this judge shit got me feeling some type of way... I might smack a mf with my head if I gotta do it.
Baton: Honourable Judge Gavel, they're present.
Judge Gavel: What's good?
Taco: Hold the fuck up, this is the judge?
Judge Gavel: Yeah I'm the fuckin' judge, what you gon' do?
Taco: How is he a judge? ...ARE YOU WEARING SUPREME?!
Judge Gavel: I'm the judge. I'm wearing Supreme. This the Supreme Court.
[Taco faces Mic.]
Taco: What the fuck is going on?!
Judge Gavel: You need to shut the fuck up. Is the prosecution ready for the opening statement?
Pickle: Ready to lock her ass up, Your Honour. The defendant Taco is charged with 3 counts of murder, reckless driving, petty theft, and overall bullshittin'. The defendant was arrested on December 8th, 2012. After committing a lot of shit like coughing up a lemon and aiming it at the victims. She had an encounter with the contestants that ended in an attempted murder. Other victims have not been found. Nobody else has been identified as a suspect, so her ass gotta be guilty.
Judge Gavel: Yeah, she definitely getting 30 years. Alright now the defence?
Mic: Yes, Your Honour. My client simply put "didn't do that shit". I mean, she might have got a ban? But that's it. If she murdered 3 people, where's the bodies? Where's the weapons? Y'all have zero evidence to convict her.
[Taco rages slightly.]
Taco: Dawg, you are the worst attorney I've ever had. You ain't talkin' bout shit up there.
