If I Stay✔️

34

Forgetting all about the trauma Leo had already suppressed.

I didn't mean to hurt him, I didn't mean to leave him to fight for himself. I simply allowed myself to be selfish, I allowed myself to bask in the nostalgia that Lily's presence provided. And with my selfishness and failure of being able to let go of the past, I allowed myself to pull the wool over my eyes and ignore the world around me. I allowed myself to be blinded, because I was happy. I was happy and that happiness allowed be to be ignorant, it allowed me to almost lose the one person who deserved nothing but love.

My love. Our love.

There's no greater love than that of family, of siblings. At least, too me there's not. Others may disagree and state that true love between soulmates and shit like that beats any other form of love.

I call bullshit.

Unlike many others— those who didn't owe any loyalties, I knew my siblings would have my back no matter what, as I would theirs. We knew each other inside-out.

Or, should I say: I thought we did.

Over the past twenty four hours, I've dwelled on that. The fact that we had all this trust amongst us, and all this knowledge, but now? Now I've come to the conclusion that everything I thought I knew, was nothing but a lie.

I don't know my siblings at all. Callan, maybe. As for the rest? With how much I've been gaslighted recently— I'd go as far too say they're merely strangers.

That's what you would think, isn't it?

I mean, hypothetically speaking, if your brother was standing before you with a deranged expression on his face, one that screams murder whilst the cold hard barrel of a gun is pressing deeper and deeper into your flesh... you'd think the same... wouldn't you?

Ding, ding, ding. The honest answer: yes, you would.

Because as much as I fucking wish it was, my question was not hypothetical and my brother was indeed holding that gun.

I don't know my siblings at all.

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O n e H o u r E a r l i e r

I stumble in a daze down the dimly lit hallway, my shoes screeching harshly against the pale blue linoleum. The sound of monitors beeping echoed down the near-deserted corridor, normally I would complain about the irritating noise, but today I paid no attention to them, my mind to fuzzy from my own worry.

I couldn't seem to get Leo's pale lifeless face to leave me, nor could I suppress the tears that flowed down my cheeks with each and every fumbled step I took. The bruises, the wires, the needles, the breathing tube—

He's alive, get yourself together.

Curling the sleeve of my sweatshirt around my fingers, I harshly wipe away the salty liquid from my cheeks. Inhaling a deep breath, I furiously shake my head from side to side— as if the simple gesture could banish all I'd seen, before continuing my way towards the waiting room.

Kota, Charlie, Ryan and Enzo sat in the seats they'd been occupying since we left. All slouched and tired looking, not that I blame them. I couldn't quite comprehend how long we'd actually been here myself. My eyes darted to the left of them, seeing Beck sat two seats down, his eyes never straying from his phone upon my approach.