Save You - Choni

Part 31

No One's POV

In the week since Toni had arrived, things had swiftly gone from bad to worse. Cheryl did her best to make Toni feel welcome. She even made meals just like Thomas the cook did, back in the past. But Toni remained quiet and withdrawn. Things between them quickly fizzled out.

Each night Cheryl went to sleep on the couch, trying to think of how to help Toni, how to help them. But nothing seemed to work.

A devastating setback happened on the 2nd day back. Cheryl had to go to her school to register for classes for the upcoming term. She told Toni she was going to her school and would return in about 2-3 hours. Toni said she was fine and Cheryl left.

Feeling a bit brave and a little curious to see what the town looked like, she decided to take a short walk. She put on one of the conservative dresses Cheryl had gotten her and went out. She quickly found the Inn her father used to own, but other than that building, everything was different. Even the inn looked larger and different. In the old days, the inn was home. Especially when her mother would greet people at the door.

Now it was just another strange looking pub.

Even more heartbreaking is when she walked around the pub, hoping see her house, it was gone. Just a car park as Cheryl called it. In fact there was no sign it was ever there, nor the woods that once sat behind it. It was all just odd looking houses and other buildings. The world she had once known had been simply erased.

Heartbroken to see her house gone, she simply moved on. A short while later she realized she was lost. In her own home town and she had no idea where she was. It was a very unnerving experience and after some wandering around she managed to find her way back. But she was very upset and burst into tears as soon as she got home.

Cheryl who arrived shortly after Toni got home found her upset and tried to console her. Toni said she simply wanted to be alone and shut herself into the bedroom.

Things only seemed to get worse and soon they were more like strangers living together than lovers. They didn't even speak much to each other and a tension seemed to fill the air.

Cheryl kept trying to help ease Toni into the modern age, but soon found herself very depressed as her efforts all seemed to fail.

Days passed and Toni spend most of her time either reading books from the 1800's or reviewing her old diary entries in the bedroom. She refused to read any of the ones she didn't remember writing.

She did eventually use a bit of technology as Cheryl bought some classical music CD's and showed Toni how to play them. She missed music and sometimes would listen to them. But she was too scared and homesick to do much else.

With each passing day Cheryl, only grew more depressed. She would spend hours watching tv or would sit on the roof looking at what few stars she could see and getting drunk.

The thing about being nostalgic for the old days, that people tend to forget the bad times. Toni herself soon fell victim to that. She would read the early entries where Fangs was still charming and handsome, how he would shower her with attention. Slowly she began to wonder if he really wasn't that bad.

Two weeks passed and Cheryl was about to reenter school for her 2nd year at college. Things with Toni were distant and increasingly tense as Cheryl noticed she spent more and more time reading her diaries. Cheryl of course never stopped taking care of Toni, doing all the wash, fixing all the meals. Cheryl dared not to ask Toni for help, but at the same time, started to resent that Toni never offered to help. They did eat together, but more and more those meals were eaten in silence.

It was a Friday and Cheryl felt like making one last attempt. So she knocked on the bedroom door.

"Come in." Cheryl could hear.

Cheryl opened the door and took a single step inside. "Hey, not sure if you're interested. A newer pub on the edge of town is having a group that's playing some traditional folk music. I thought it maybe something you might be interested in." Cheryl said cautiously.

Toni who was sitting in a rocking chair in the corner looked up from one of her dairy's. "No thank you." Toni said in a dismissive tone.

Cheryl wasn't quite sure exactly why, but that dismissive tone set her off. She'd been patient for weeks and even had backed off to give Toni some time to adjust. But her patience suddenly ran out.

"WHY NOT!" Cheryl snapped.

Toni put her book down and huffed, looking a bit offended. "Well with you yelling at me, why should I be interested in going anywhere with you."

That little comment only seemed to dig at Cheryl's anger. "Even when I don't yell, you don't ever want to go out. Why Not?"

Toni who had become very frustrated, got out of her chair and walked up to Cheryl. "Because this isn't my home town, this isn't my time. I don't know anyone or anything. I don't belong here."

Cheryl' furrowed her eyebrows and briefly made a fist, before unclenching it. "Well you're here, why don't you make the best of it." As the conversation went on, Cheryl noticed her voice rising, and she realized she couldn't control her anger anymore.

"I KNOW I'M HERE AND I HATE IT. I HATE IT AND IT'S YOUR FAULT. MY FAMILY IS DEAD, MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD, MY HORSE IS DEAD, MY HOME IS GONE, MY TOWN IS DIFFERENT AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS WORLD OF COMPUTERS AND FLYING PLANES AND GLOBAL WARMING. "Toni suddenly said, exploding herself.

"I SAVED YOU FROM THAT CREEP!" Cheryl said, fighting back.

"Yes, you saved me. From being married. I'd rather be married and miserable with that man then her with you. If you were telling me the truth about that." Toni sneered, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"What?" Cheryl said, her jaw dropping.

Toni pointed an accusing finger at Cheryl. "Yes, with your internets and computer machines you made my husband to be look guilty with your modern technology. I was to be married and you drove the poor thing mad with your vicious slander. I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED AND YOU RUINED IT. YOU RUINED MY LIFE. I HATE YOU."

Cheryl found herself rather stunned and extremely wounded by Toni's outburst. Instead of bellowing back some insult, she lowered her head and left the room without saying another word. Cheryl then grabbed a bottle of whisky and a glass from the kitchen and went up to the roof.

Cheryl sat in a lawn chair up on the roof, got drunk and raged at the church across the street. "Why God Why? All this time, I solve one problem and boom, another one just pops up in its place over and fucking over. Now he's the fucking victim and I'm the bad guy. Ok, you won, you omnipotent bastard. I give up. I'm done playing the hero, I'll be the fucking bad guy." With that, Cheryl hurled the bottle across the street where she heard it shatter somewhere in the darkness of the church yard.

Before she passed out in a lawn chair on the roof, Cheryl decided that in the morning she would call Mary and ask a favor. She would ask if she was willing to take Toni in and give her a decent home as Cheryl had decided to simply give up and move on.

Down her room, a still angry Toni, suddenly heard Cheryl raging upstairs on the roof. Everything had gone so wrong. She wasn't even sure if Cheryl had framed Fangs, but it seemed a possibility. She said it more to hurt Cheryl than anything and hurt her she had. She just wanted her old life back.

"I wish Cheryl would have never come into my life."

A moment later she looked at the diary entries that she would not read. She had been afraid of them up to know, but something deep inside moved her to pick the first one up. This was after all her life had Cheryl not interfered.

"HA! I read this and it will prove me right. Cheryl is the villain." Toni wanted to be right. Now that she hurt Cheryl, she wanted to be right. Because if she was wrong, that meant she was the villain. The thought of being wrong was too painful even to think about.

So Toni started to read the entries, of a life where Cheryl had not interfered. On some level she wondered at first if these were some kind of forgeries. But soon reading she realized they weren't.

The handwriting was her, the ways she phrased words was her, the way she thought was hers. Toni quickly realized that these were in fact real.

At first Toni read about the wedding preparations and all seemed to go well. She noted the doubts her double wrote about the marriage to Fangs, but concluded they were unfounded.

Entry after entry Toni read, how she married Fangs and lived in that huge mansion. While things were not all rosy, life seemed decent. She could still see her father and sister, ride her horse, lived in a huge house. The more she read, the more convinced she got that Cheryl was the villain and Fangs had been slandered.

Soon she found out much to her rage, that she had become pregnant. Cheryl had not only cheated her out of a husband, but a child as well. Toni wished she had some place to go as she just wanted to get away from Cheryl.

Furious she threw the entry against the wall and paced back and forth. Soon she realized it was past midnight and she should turn in.

She went to bed and began to dream. In that dream she found herself walking through the Fogarty Mansion as she remembered it. Ahead of her in another room she could see herself, now several months pregnant.

Toni rushed into the room to see her pregnant double sitting at a table and writing in one of the journals. Then the woman sighed, put down her pen and looked up at Toni. "You shouldn't be here. This isn't your path."

Toni ran forward. "Yes I should. You have the life I should be leading."

The pregnant Toni stood up and looked around. "You want this. All this. Before you do, why don't you finish reading and see things as they are and not what you want them to be. You're being a fool."

"No I'm not. Cheryl lied to me. You have so much. A home, a husband and a child and no Cheryl."

Pregnant Toni laughed mockingly. "I know not this Cheryl, but I know this. This house is no home and my husband....read for yourself and stop being a scared fool. NOW GO!"

Abruptly Toni woke with a most uneasy feeling. Not able to resist, Toni turned on the light and began to read. She read how Fangs spent more and more time away. How he seemed to lose interest in her completely as she got more pregnant. Then she would read about the rumors that her double would hear, gambling, money problems, and mistresses.

Much to her dismay, she saw this gilded world of privilege slowly turn sour for her double. Every day the entries became more depressing and lonely. Of course Toni did know that her double had a baby to look forward to, so she felt all was not lost.

Then on August 17th, 1870, the dairies abruptly stopped. Not one single word was written in any of the other unread books.

Toni wrote nearly every single night and to see the entries simply stop, gave her a feeling of dread that ran deep into her soul. She had to know what happened next. Then she remembered how one day Cheryl had said she had done some research on her.

"I wonder if Cheryl has this research still. Perhaps that will give me an answer."

Cheryl had a desk in the living room where she kept her personal papers. Toni rushed in the living room and frantically searched through the desk.

In a large green folder she found the answer. It was her obituary, copied some way from an old newspaper. Now feeling utterly ill, Toni read how on August 18th, 1870, she gave birth to stillborn child and then bled to death. Scribbled in the margin below the obit was written.

"Frances was seen in the company of Rachel Sherman, his mistress, attending the theatre the night Toni died. He would not return until the next day. BASTARD!"

Horrified, Toni kept reading the notes. What hurt most was how, less than 2 months later Fangs married Rachel.

"My body is barely cold and he marries his mistress." Toni fumed.

Toni kept reading about Fangs's various affairs, how he gambled lots of money away, ran up huge debts and would eventually be publicly accused of embezzling. It also said he financially ruined his family.

Toni was stunned and sickened beyond belief. "Fangs never cared for me. Not once." Toni said as tears came down her face.

It was then she realized that she'd done Cheryl a horrible disservice. She had allowed her fear and anger blind her to how she really felt about Cheryl. All Cheryl did was try to help and she acted horribly. Shut herself off and no longer let Cheryl in. The emotions of regret and sorrow hit hard and fast, then turned to the couch where Cheryl slept every night, but Cheryl was not there.

Looking at the clock she realized it was 3:34 in the morning. Toni suddenly began to worry.

"The Roof" Toni said, as she bolted out the door into the hallway and up the stairs.

Emerging on the roof she noticed it had started to rain slightly. Looking across the roof she spotted Cheryl in a chair, apparently asleep.

"I have been a fool." Toni said as she walked up to Cheryl.

"Cheryl, Cheryl." Toni said as she tried to gently shake Cheryl awake.

After a moment Cheryl grunted and sleepily opened her eyes. "Oh...now what."

"Cheryl why didn't you tell me I died?" Toni asked, not minding the rain that continued to fall.

That seemed to sober up Cheryl slightly and she sat upright. "You found out." Cheryl half slurred her words saying it.

Toni nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Cheryl wiped some of the rain from her face. "You'd been through too much. Should have gotten rid of those dairies."

"No. I'm glad you didn't. The showed me I was wrong. I treated you dreadfully earlier. I am so sorry. I got so homesick I...I don't know what I was thinking."

Cheryl tried to stand up, but quickly fell to her knees as she was still very drunk. She also began to cry. "I deserved it. I screwed up. I messed everything up. You had died, were buried and were forgotten. I wanted to make you feel loved and have you love me and I fucked that up too. Now you're just as miserable. I'm sorry..."

Toni who was feeling worse by the moment, as to how she had treated Cheryl, put out her arms and helped Cheryl up.

"No Cheryl. I owe you an apology. You saved me and I wouldn't let you even try to help me get used to these new things. I just tried to stay in past and resented you for making me stay in the present. Please forgive me Cheryl." Toni who had begun to cry again, said softly.

"I just wanted to love you." Whimpered a very drunk and broken Cheryl.

"Maybe you still can. If you'll give me a chance to try and love you back." Toni said, half pleading.

"Always." Whispered Cheryl.