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— fallen lanterns —
jungwoo watched lucas make his way through the living room, wearing a fresh pair of pajamas, hair slightly damp because of the shower and cheeks flush pink with tiredness.
lucas silently took a seat at the end of the sofa, opposite of jungwoo. he noticed how the older had his hands placed on top of eachother on his lap, his lower hand squeezing the upper one. his feets were tapping the floor recklessly as he tried his best to not look up.
lucas let out a low chuckle much to jungwoo's annoyance "don't laugh, we're literally discussing our divorce here"
lucas pressed his lips together suppressing his laugh. he opened his arms for the older and jungwoo didn't waste a second to crawl into lucas's embrace, resting his face on his chest. he remembers all those times he had spent hearing the younger's heartbeats, feeling love and comfort in it. now when he listens to those heartbeats and feels those same strong arms wrap around him, he only finds comfort.
lucas placed his chin on top of the older's head, his hands rubbing comforting circles on jungwoo's back. they stay there, wrapped around each other, listening to each other's breaths and sighs.
"lucas?" jungwoo spoke, his face still buried in his chest.
"mmh?"
"i'm worried" his voice is soft and breathy. lucas is familiar with this tone which jungwoo uses whenever he's scared or nervous.
"me too, jungwoo" before lucas could comfort or reassure him, the older spoke again.
"but you know what i feel more than being worried?" there was a few seconds pause and lucas was about to lift the younger's face to ask if he's okay when he felt a small patch of his shirt, where jungwoo is resting his face, getting wet.
"i feel disappointed lucas. i feel disappointed in myself. i feel disappointed in our relationship. i feel disappointed in our love" his voice is muffled as he buries his face deeper into lucas's chest.
"all those promises we made for ourselves, for our love, for our future, we broke them just like that" a sob escaped from his lips.
lucas could feel his nose tingling, his eyes ready to produce tears. he looked up , taking a silent deep breath. "not just like that, jungwoo. remember we tried? remember we tried so much to make this marriage work. but sometimes things are just not meant to be"
it all started after their second anniversary. first it was subtle, like not wishing each other good morning the first thing they woke up, sending 'ily' instead of 'i love you' during texting, spending more time on their phones instead of with each other on their dinner dates.
but slowly it got so obvious that they couldn't hide it from others and especially, they couldn't hide it from themselves.
the realisation was the most difficult, heartbreaking part. it was like their four years of relationship had come crashing down, breaking into pieces that they could never put back together.
kissing each other started to feel awkward, their hugs became shorter and instead of cuddling each other to sleep they slept on the far ends of the bed.
there were never fights, their love just started to fade away without them realising and when the realisation finally hit them, it was too late. they tried to save it, their two years of dating and one and a half year of marriage, but soon they came to a conclusion that there was nothing left to save.
lucas remembers the first time they talked about the seperation. they hugged and cried on each other's shoulders for hours. 'its for the better' they promised.
lucas lifted his hand and patted jungwoo's head gently, a habit that would make jungwoo calm down easily but this time it did not work. maybe lucas didn't had that effect on jungwoo anymore.
"which doesn't mean that things are wrong. our love was never wrong, jungwoo. it just wasn't right enough" he spoke, voice soft as ever.
jungwoo nodded his head, slowly pulling away from lucas's chest. he used the selves of his shirt to wipe his tears. "will things become awkward between us after the divorce?"
lucas chuckled, his usual low and deep one. he brought his hand up, ruffling the older's hair "no, jungwoo. not at all. we were best friends before we started dating and even after the divorce we will remain best friends"
jungwoo smiled, the first time that night. "look at us. being husbands and friendzoning each other"
lucas laughed, bring his hand back down "well, being friends is better than being awkward exes"
jungwoo sank into his seat, resting his head on the sofa head as he looked up at the ceiling. "i'm going to be the first one to find a new boyfriend"
lucas rolled his eyes but a chuckle escaped his lips nonetheless. he too sank down into his seat, mirroring jungwoo's actions. " as if. i'm going to be the first one to get a new boyfriend"
jungwoo turned his head towards lucas, a teasing smile plastered on his face. it was as if he wasn't just crying his eyes out because of the divorce. "wanna bet?"
"i bet my prada jacket"
jungwoo jumped up from the sofa, hopping his way to their shared bedroom without sparing lucas a glance "wong lucas, be ready. that prada jacket is going to be mine"
