Inevitable | Jeon Jungkook

Chapter 15

You're met with silence on the other end of the phone as a response that you start to consider Jungkook having fainted or something. But you hear a long drawn out breath and sniffles instead, and you will yourself not to cry again.

It's been an emotional night, one you've been waiting for, and you wanted nothing more than to deliver the good news as soon as possible.

"That's... that's great, ___. Wow, uhm, he really said that? That he wishes I was his Papa? Like, it came from him? He drew me with you and him?" Jungkook asks, voice shaky.

"And Mr. Choochoo," you add.

"And Mr. Choochoo, of course," he laughs.

"But yes, that's what he said. He was shy about it, too but god, Jungkook, he looked so soft," you huff, a smile on your face now as you recall how Jungwon looked earlier.

"He saw me shocked, though, so he just smiled, said it was okay because he knows whoever his Papa is will find him soon," you narrate, recalling how that caused you to ready Jungwon for bed immediately so that he doesn't see you cry, which you did, silently, as you watched him fall asleep.

"God, he's so precious," Jungkook cry-laughs.

You bask in the sound of his voice, so tender and full of yearning. And you wish so badly you can see him right now, knowing how important this moment is for him.

"I really wish I could take the train back home tonight," he says, frustration in his voice.

"You have a game in the morning, Jungkook. It's okay. Just use it as inspiration. We'll be here when you get back and we can tell him," you affirm.

The phone call goes on for another hour as you discuss how you'll both tell Jungwon tomorrow. You go through different scripts, different scenarios, and possible reactions to make sure you're ready.

Even with Jungwon's openness, he's still just a kid; you can't truly be certain how he'll react and if he'll understand. But you try to focus on the best case scenario and that's him, taking it all in and accepting Jungkook, loving him the way his father loves him.

You fall asleep with Jungwon curled next to you, enveloped in your arms, in your love, the one you've given unconditionally the last five years as you nursed a broken heart and quelled the longing you've had for his father.

You knew what you were doing that night when you walked out of Jungkook's life. It wasn't a goodbye, although you had to make it seem like it was; you felt that it was the only way he'd let you go. It wasn't the same for you, though, because you knew that the moment you'd birth your child, you'd be seeing Jungkook every single day - a reminder of what your love can create, and what it can endure. And what you'll continue to endure for the sake of your child.

It's a big step, letting Jungwon know. The priority after would be making up for the lost time, the time that you denied them. You can't say that you regret the decision you made all those years ago but you also can't say that you'll make it every single time; you'll stand by it always, though.

All that time, it at least comforted you that Jungkook was living out his dream, the one that mattered to him more than anything else, because his father mattered to him more than anyone else. He shined so bright in Jungkook's eyes, and even with the short life that he lived, Jungkook's father lived it passionately, courageously, fiercely, and with no regrets.

It's why Jungkook loved him with his whole heart. And it's what you've always wanted your child to feel towards the man who deserves the world. You want Jungwon to always look up to his father with wide eyes and a beaming heart at the passionate, courageous, and loving man that he is, at the man with no regrets.