[Without you] /Lippa/

Disputes and Hot chocolate

"Damn Pippa calm down it's not a big deal!" Lin suddenly exclaimed, shutting Phillipa down, who now look startled at Lin. He was just as shocked as Phillipa, that he had said what he said in the way how he said it. There's a short silence, until Lin started to talk again: "Pips, I didn't mean-" "Get out." Pippa whispered. "Pippa please." "I said get out."

What both of them didn't know is that Renée went after them both. So Renée was standing at the front of the not completely shut door the whole time and heard everything, what they were saying. She definitely didn't want to spy on her friends but she was worried about Pippa, since she didn't look necessary happy or healthy the moment she walked into the rehearsal room. "What's going on here?" Renée now opened the door, acted like she didn't know what was going on at that very moment. "I want Lin to leave." Phillipa whispered then, while tears were running down her cheeks.

Renée immediately turned to Lin, she gave him a nod with her head, while looking at him. Lin looked again at Pippa who wasn't even looking at him anymore, he looked then at Renée and left without saying an another word. After Lin left the room, Renée went immediately to Phillipa and hugged her. "Cmon, let's sit down." Renée said after a short silence and led Pippa to the couch. "You know what? I'm gonna drive you home and you're gonna rest for the rest of the day. You're looking really sick Pippa." Pippa already wanted to protest since she didn't want to stay at home for the rest of the week but Renée already shut her down even before she could say anything. "No Pippa. Don't try to change my mind, because I won't change it." And with that Renée left the room and went to inform the director about the current situation.

Lin and the rest of the cast were in the rehearsing room, as the door went open and Renée walked into it. While the rest of the cast were focusing on performing 'What'd I miss' Lin was now focusing on Renée, who walked towards Alex Lacamoire who was standing next to the Piano. Renée told Alex about the current situation, who then nodded understanding with his head.

Meanwhile Lin was focusing his attention on Renée as soon as she entered the room. He was able to understand that Pippa would go home for today and immediately he felt guilty rising in himself. At the end it was all his fault. It was his fault that Pippa didn't feel like performing anymore, it was his fault that Pippa cried today and it was his fault that she went alone to the appointment yesterday. He should've just told Vanessa that he already had plans for yesterday and that he couldn't spend his day with either her or Sebastian.

While Lin literally hated himself for everything what happened yesterday and today, Renée drove Phillipa to her apartment. The whole time they drove, nobody said a word. It was as silent as it could be in a car which is driving through New York City. But as Renée parked in the parking lot and they got out of the car, Phillipa started to finally speak: "Thank you for doing this for me." She said with a soft smile on her lips. "Of course. I'd do nothing what you wouldn't do for me too. Also I always love to take care of you or Jas, you both know that." Renée answered and smiled back, as they were entering the building.

After a few stairs they were finally in Pippas apartment. Phillipa went to her bedroom and changed herself into comfortable clothes, while Renée was in the kitchen, making hot chocolate for them both. Shortly after, Pippa came out of her bedroom in a large, pink Pullover with a yellow duck printed on it and matching jogging trousers. "Wow you're totally rocking that outfit." Renée said with a big smile on her face, trying really hard not to laugh. "Thanks." Phillipa answered with a smile back. "Oh thank you, you didn't need to do this." She exclaimed as she saw the hot chocolate, which Renée had made.

A short silence filled the room, in which both of them took a sip of the hot chocolate, until Renée stopped drinking broke the silence: "So... do you wanna talk about what happened?" She asked, putting down her cup, looking at Phillipa slightly worried. "It's complicated." Pippa only said, without any other information. "If you don't wanna talk, I can understand it. I just want you to know, that I won't tell anyone what I've heard." After the last sentence Pippas head was looking up from the cup she was holding. "Oh my god. I didn't know you've heard anything. What have you heard?" Pippa asked, hoping Renée only heard that Lin forgot to pick her up yesterday and that she didn't hear about Lin being the father of her expecting child.

"I heard basically everything." Renée answered, which caused Pippa to put her cup down, to pull her knees to her chest and to burry her face in them. Seeing Phillipas reaction brought Renée to hug her immediately, while rubbing her back supportingly. "I want you to know, that I don't judge anyone. Not you, neither Lin. And if you wanna talk about it, feel free to talk to me." As Pippa heard what Renée said, she held her head up and was looking at her best friend. It was silence for a moment, until Pippa spoke:

"You know... I-I always thought it'd be different when I'm getting pregnant. I planned to be around thirty to thirty-five years old and Steven and me would be madly excited about the new things which were about to come, but now? I've ruined my relationship, my whole life in just one drunken night with Lin, which I can't even remember, that's how drunk I was." Even though Pippa wasn't finished with talking, she couldn't hold her tears any longer and started sobbing. Meanwhile Renée started to talk:

"First of all, don't blame yourself for everything, what happened. It was a one night mistake and mistakes happen so you learn from them. Second of all, don't see this as a mistake which ruined your life, see it as an opportunity. This child will bring you much joy and you'll never regret having it, I promise." Renée then hold Phillipas hand and squeezed it supportingly. "It's not just my life, which gets impacted by that, it's also Lin's life which eventually is gonna turn upside-down you know? And I'm getting everyday more of the feeling that me and the baby are just a big burden for him and I don't wanna be that." Renée already wanted to disagree with Pippa but Pippa shut her down and continued to talk. "You know... sometimes I'm just thinking about leaving New York and to start a new life somewhere else, maybe in Chicago as single mother."

It was again silent. Renée took a sip of hot chocolate and was starring into the air, until she started to speak. "Pippa..." but she stopped before she continued since she had to figure out how to say what she wanted to say in the best way. "I can totally understand you, but I know that Lin wouldn't want that, neither I want it or the rest of the cast wants it. You're not a burden to anyone, not even to Lin. I know that because he really loves you as a friend and that he'd never do something to intentionally hurt you. And that's why you should talk to him at some point again. He maybe did some mistakes but that's human, so don't be too harsh with him."

Pippa knew that Renée was right about everything she said. And not because Renée was always right, it's because Pippa knew that she had to seriously talk to Lin again. "Maybe." She answered Renée with a soft smile on her face, before looking at the clock."But don't you have to go back to the theatre again? The show starts in about 45 minutes." Renée then also looked on the clock and agreed with Pippa, while standing up from the couch. "Yeah, you're right. But please call me me, if you need anything and I'll be there. Even if I'm on-stage, performing 'satisfied' , I'll be running from the stage and go to you, okay?" "Yeah, I'll call you. Now go otherwise the show has to start without an Angelica." Pippa said with a laughter, which caused Renée also to smile. With that Renée grabbed her handbag and left the apartment. "Bye Pips."
And Phillipa was alone.