Axl's POV
I can't move. I think I am stuck to where I am standing.
"Are you okay, sir?" Licah asked.
"Wait, I will get water." Ria said.
"I don't need a fucking water. Can you leave this godamn floor first?" I raised my voice.
I saw Licah following Ria. He is tapping his access badge to the two-way glass door's control system.
"Where are you going?" I asked Licah.
"Leaving the godamn floor as well, sir." He repeated what I have said earlier.
"Follow me to my office."
I ordered.
I sat on my swivel chair while I let him sit on the couch.
"You never handed me this bookmark. Why didn't you?"
"I inserted it in your locker but you just tossed it. I know that was your answer. It was so mean of you to do that. You could have just thrown it quietly. I was there in the locker room, sir. I heard it."
"It's true that I don't want to receive gifts that day. I was just expecting a heart sticker from that person, but he didn't give me one when he was the only one I have given a heart. Can I ask this, if I have read this bookmark before and say - yes, I like you, what are you going to tell me in the arts room?"
Actually, I am not prepared for the answer. I will be disappointed whichever his answer was.
I think I am not ready for his answer. Whether he liked me or not before, I think I will be disappointed either way. If he didn't like me, I will be sad again, but at least I have expected it already. If he says he liked me too, then fuck, the regret on my part with be too much. If I have just read this message before, I would really say I like him and meet him in the Arts room. That was fucking 14 years of wasted time. If I had just read it, then there would be no Trent in his life. I could have been happy with him until now. Maybe married with kids too. Fucking long 14 years.
LJ bitterly smiled at me.
"If you said you like me 14 years ago, then maybe I would have the courage to say that I like you too. I cannot bring that up first. You've seen how I look before. All my life I was insecure about it. Even though I followed Trent's advice, I still feel that I look bad. How can I say it first? What would people say? All my life, I feel like I am not enough." LJ admitted.
He liked me back then. "In the broadcast room..."
"I have no idea that the mic is on. That time, I said it because that is what I really for you. After I saw you rejected the gifts, I hated you." He avoided my gaze.
"What if I say that I like you still?"
"If you would ask me that, then I would say 'Don't'. I don't think I can like any guy now. I can't trust you anymore. So please, sir, do not say that. Let me just do my job now. Thank you." He stood up.
"LJ. I like you until now. I gave you that heart sticker that day because I like you. It's the first and last sticker I have given my whole life."
"It's all in the past now. I have selected eight dates already for the weekend. I need to go back to work."
All in the past for you, LJ. It's just a crush for you. To me, it was different, because I really fell for you.
"You still like that Rivera guy who left you?"
"He left me I know, but I can never hate Trent. He is the only person who is with me during the days that I was done. Yes, he doesn't love me now. But for the twelve years that he is with me, he never left me. He stayed with me. Yes, I like him still. But it doesn't mean that I would want him in my life again."
