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We came home to total bedlam. Mum and Dad were struggling to subdue a very angry woolly mammoth, and the gnomes were chasing a small pack of rabbits with antlers.
"You're just in time," Dad called to us as he ducked under a swinging trunk. He pointed to a lump of trembling purple fur. "Can you get the verminion in a pen?"
"Uh . . . sure." Sophie mustered up making me laugh and grab her hand pulling her over.
"Thanks." Dad boosted Mum onto the mammoth's back. The huge, hairy elephant trumpeted in protest—an earthshaking squeal that left my ears ringing.
We crept toward the purple mound of fur, hoping the verminion was as timid as it looked. A twig snapped under Sophie's foot.
Hiiiissssssssssss!
The creature uncurled, revealing a giant rodent face with glassy black eyes, pointy fangs, and bulging cheeks. She'd always thought Verminions were pretty cute, but this rottweiler-size beast was Hamsterzilla, and it looked ready to trample her like a Japanese city.
"Nice hamster—verminion—thing," Sophie cooed, taking a step away.
SNAARRRLLL!
Hamsterzilla was not impressed with Sophie's work. I stood back, If Sophie was going to be a part of this family, she would need to learn how to look after the other residents.
"You have to make it chase you to the pen, Sophie," I shouted as Sophie tried to coo the Verminion to sleep.
"How do I do that?"
Dad dashed after Mum. "Get it mad."
"But—what if it catches me?" Sophie trembled.
"It won't," I promised.
"Better run really fast, just in case," Dad mocked her.
I knew this would probably end up in the top fifty stupidest things I'd done, but I watched as Sophie picked up a huge clod of mud and nailed the verminion in the gut.
GROOOWWWWLLLL!
Sophie took the hint and bolted for the nearest pen, only to realise Dad's plan had a fatal flaw. The verminion blocked the only exit, and he seemed to know it. She could've sworn his beady eyes were laughing at Sophie.
"A little help here?" she called as the mutant hamster closed in.
"On it!" The gnomes took over helping Mum, and I raced across the yard, jumped the verminion, and pinned it. Purple fur flew as the beast thrashed to escape.
Dad looked over. "Okay, Sophie. I want you to put one hand on each of his cheeks and press as hard as you can."
After a few tries—and a lot of snarling—she managed to get her hands in position and squeeze. The verminion's jaw unlocked and an assortment of dead furry things spewed all over the ground.
