False Confidence

32

Emma is definitely teething. She woke up five times last night, I ended up giving her baby Tylenol and letting her sleep in the bed instead of her crib. Looking up hacks to help with teething last night I also got her a frozen face clothe to chew on. It seemed to work, so when Alena wakes us up the next morning I at least feel rested. Alena looks well rested as well. Dressed in simple black long sleeve t-shirt and jeans. Her face has a light dusting of makeup. She looks enchanting.

"What is the time?" I roll over as she takes Emma to change her. The little girl yawning. 

"8." Alena says looking over her shoulder " You better get ready, your mom is going to take Emma in 20 minutes." 

"I changed my mind, I am sleeping in." I tease and she merely flips me off behind her back. I grin, shoving the covers off and bounding to my room. Showering and washing my hair. I dry it a little but let it drip dry otherwise, wanting my curls to remain. Now, as I stand in my closest staring at all the clothes my heart aches. I need Harriet and I miss her. This is my first official date and I have no idea what to wear. I almost head over to her room and apologise but instead I stare at the clothes a little longer. Deciding to go for simple. I pull on black leather pants, my combat boots, a white button down shirt and a blue jersey. Allowing my curls to tumble freely over my shoulders. Smiling at my reflection I head to put on makeup, dusting my eyes with a light shimmer and adding eyeliner, mascara and some lip gloss. I feel fancy.  

My heart hammers as I head downstairs. I am nervous. I am in charge of this day going smoothly and it is nerve wrecking. If we were going in the evening I might have chosen  something different  but we only have the morning before we have to be  back to help prepare for Thanksgiving tomorrow. My parents like cooking but big events like this, they get a chef. Which means it is setting up and decorating we  have to do.

 
Alena is waiting in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and staring at the cup in her hand. She has added  a leather jacket to her outfit and boots. She looks hot. Her hair tied up in a long ponytail. I want to run my hand through her hair. But I settle for just watching for a few seconds before clearing my throat.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah."  Her voice is quiet as she examines my outfit, I see the spark in her eyes as her mouth lifts "You look good."

"Thanks." My cheeks are rosy as I walk closer " You look nice as well?"

"Just nice?" She is teasing me as I come to stand in front of her, looking up to meet her fiery eyes. She looks hot, super hot. Her arms come up to wrap around my waist, pulling me flush against her front. "All you got is, nice?"

I swallow, worried that I am forgetting how to breath, being this close to her. My heart is now doing acrobatics in my chest. "You look ho- really nice." I swallow fingers coming up to fiddle with the bits on her jacket. "I-I think we should go."

"We should." Suddenly I am cold and then  she is standing by the doorway "So hurry up." I shake my head, tucking hair behind my ear and half skipping towards the door way.  The drive is silent but halfway through I reach over to grab her hand and entwine our hands. Smiling as I drive us to our destination. 

"You brought us to the zoo?" I am not sure if she is impressed or not. I bite my lip nervously, foot tapping as I make my way over to her side.

"Do you hate it? " I wait as her eyes scan the small trickle of people heading into the gates. "We can do something else if you want, there is a bowling a-"

"-I love it," She turns, facing me with a smile I have rarely seen on her face. It warms my insides "I have never been to the zoo before."

"Never?" I ask incredulous as we walk towards the booth, I happily pay our entrance fee as we head towards the golf cart hire stall. "I loved coming here when I was a kid, we should bring Emma sometime." Alena nods, seemingly distracted by the surroundings. For the next hour we walk around, chatting about nothing and everything. The animals, the people, the food. Mid morning we stop for some milkshakes. Alena looks like she is glowing.

"Do you mind people knowing about us?" I blurt out, having wanted to hold her hand he whole day and not knowing whether she would have an issue with it. She looks at me, confusion clouding her features. 

"Why would I?" I shrug fiddling with the ends of my jersey, her smile is back as she reaches over and stops the fiddling by taking my hand "I would be honored to be seen in public with you, I thought that maybe you weren't ready for that."

"PDA has never been something I am a huge fan of," I shrug playing with her long fingers "But somehow I don't mind when I am with you. Within reason of course." My cheeks are red and when I chance a glance up I see that hers are tinted pink as well. My insides are scrambled.  

"So at school, at the mall, at home, you okay with this?" She nods towards our hands and I grin, our skin tones contrast drastically and yet the sight sends sparks down my spine.  I nod and her fingers move, tickling the back of my hand "You sure?"

"Yeah," sipping the last of my milkshake I look up at her "Do you want Emma to know, or like her teacher, because that kid knew when I changed my shirt, if her mama starts holding hands with her Har-pa I am sure she would notice."

"Her Har-pa," She grins and I colour once more at the drawl in her tone. The way she says it has goose bumps appearing on my skin. Her gaze softens a little before looking slightly saddened. I squeeze her hand and she looks up, dark gaze meeting mine. "When I left my parents place, I promised myself I would stop living for others." I wait because she isn't done "  If anyone has a problem with it, well they can stick it, as for Emma." Her voice softens and her smile warms "Well she loves you and when she starts asking questions I will answer them, honestly, but for now she just likes to be surrounded by people she loves."

"Fair enough." I smile in her direction, glad that we cleared that up "You ready to see how many animals we can visit before we head off to help with the thanksgiving madness?" She nods and standing up I feel no worry in reaching over and linking our hands. Happy for the warmth that courses through the connection. She is right, if people have an issue with us, they can stick it.