Chapter 1

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Adeline

I always wanted to be good. As a kid, I would wash my hands before dinner without being asked and eat every piece of food that was on my plate. If I saw ants on the playground, I would jump over them to spare their lives, or sprinkle crumbs so they could go home full.

I worked diligently in elementary school too, cutting paper down the dotted line like my life depended on it and clutching it to my chest on the bus ride home, rubbing the shiny sticker at the top for good luck.

I'd bring the graded assignments home to my dad and show him the second I saw him, craving some semblance of affirmation; an offhanded comment that could prove, even for just a moment, that I was loved.

I would instead receive a single nod paired with an unimpressed, stern face.

The dismissal would send me running to my older brother in tears, but he was hardly a comfort. Bryce had just reached the age where loving your family was a social mistake and giving your little sister a hug was considered childish and immature.

But sometimes, he was there.

When Bryce wasn't looking, he'd sneak me a hug or reassuring smile,and on special occasions he would press a Hershey's kiss into my hand with a finger pressed discretely to his lips.

I fell in love with James Mason and waited for the moment that he'd see me as more than his best friend's little sister. As with all childhood crushes, it wasn't meant to be. His family moved away just before I turned 11.

It was the week my father was taken too; the week that I learned all my efforts had been in vain.

I wasn't good enough to keep my mother from leaving.

I wasn't good enough for my brother's attention or affection.

I wasn't good enough to keep my father safe.

I had to become more than good. That was the year I decided I would be perfect.

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