Drumbeats into My Heart

42. Jordi Receives a Dedication

I'm not a big fan of email. As far as I'm concerned, it's just another place to read and write poorly. If it wasn't for all the online accounts that require one, I might not have an email address at all.

Seth is cute and quirky and all, but he can be so insistent when he sets his mind on something. It kind of makes me wonder what he would've done if I'd refused.

No more than ten minutes have passed after our phone call when my phone dings with an incoming text message. Predictably, it's from Seth.

Check your inbox :)

There's a small sense of dread when I see this, because he'll undoubtedly expect an email response back. Thankfully it's dwarfed by my curiosity over what he's sent me. What song is he so excited to share?

I head over to the computer. My dad is asleep, so it's free. After logging in, I see the message from Seth. With a deep breath, I click on it.

Hi Jordi! As promised, here's that song. I really love it, because it takes me to a happy place every time I hear it. Now the drum circle is my happy place, and every time I listen to this song, it'll take me there.

The song is called "Come Fly Away". It's sung by Channing (a girl, not Channing Tatum, haha) and mixed by Benny Benassi. By far my favorite version is a remix by Adam K and Soha, so that's the link I'm sending you. Skip ahead to the one-minute mark for the actual song. DJs like to include a ton of monotonous beats in the beginning for mixing purposes. I think. Anyway, I dedicate this song to you. Enjoy!

Wow, that's a lot of text just to send me one song, but I don't regret taking the time to read it all. It's incredibly sweet. I'm smiling even before I've heard the song. When I'm ready, I plug headphones into the speakers so I don't wake Dad. After clicking play, I lean back in the chair to listen.

The song starts with about a minute of repetitive beats, as Seth said there would be. Then a buoyant voice starts singing about gliding through a beautiful sky and riding in sweet lullabies. My head bobs with the rhythm as the refrain serenades about flying away.

It's a great song, but one part really catches my ear.

Feels like you're beatin', beatin' the drumbeats into my heart.

How is it that songs can capture a feeling with just a few simple words and melodies? Is this... is this how Seth feels when he watches me play gigs?

Feels like there's nothin', nothin' around to make me stop.

This is exactly how I feel when I drum. Invincible joy.

This song takes me to a happy place. I actually want to extend my arms out and fly through the air like a jet.

When it ends, I play it again. That's when another part jumps out at me.

You are a motion that makes me high. You are a dream that burns inside.

The pounding beat drives the words home. I don't want to read too much into this, but he did dedicate the song to me. Is he saying that I make him high? That I'm a dream that burns inside him? Or is he just sharing a really cool song with me?

I reread the email that accompanied this song. He mostly talks about the song version like he wants to be absolutely sure I understand what he's sending me. Then it ends with "I dedicate this song to you." Which could mean anything.

I think back to the only other occasion a song was dedicated to me. I shake my head at the memory. Dustin gyrating to "I Wanna Sex You Up", an 80s classic by Color Me Badd. It had made me laugh, but it wasn't exactly romantic.

I'm learning that Seth is a deep guy who doesn't always know how to say what he's feeling. Is sending me this song his way of communicating? Or am I placing way too much meaning into it?

An unbidden smile spreads across my face at the thought that Seth might be trying to tell me how he feels about me. I hug myself and squeal a little. I shouldn't get ahead of myself, but I can't help it. Seth has a way of making me feel like no one else matters.

It's an incredible feeling.

I turn my attention back to the email, and my soaring spirit dips a little. I can't not reply. He'd gotten upset about the smiley face I'd sent instead of texting an actual message. If—and that's a big if, I remind myself—he's baring his feelings to me through a song, he'll be crushed if I don't respond.

I take a deep breath and settle my fingers on the keyboard. I don't want to risk sounding stupid, so I'll just keep it short and sweet.

I loved it. Thank you.

Are there songs that convey how you feel? I wonder if there are any songs about voting?