serendipity - r. lupin

SEVENTY TWO

"I wanted to tell you in person," he confessed. A small, criticising smile made its way on to his face. "I didn't realise it would be so... hard? Exposing? I can't really find the word."

Genevieve understood. The conversation wasn't hostile, or upsetting, or in any way rage inducing. It was melancholic, the two of them sharing unspoken regrets, while being mildly exhilarated. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Remus frowned, unable to come up with an explanation. "I didn't know what you wanted me to say," he answered, tentatively. "I thought you wanted to hear that."

"Did you really think that was something I wanted to hear?" Genevieve murmured, her tone tense. "Remus, I was hurt. That was the last thing I wanted to hear."

As those words left Genevieve's lips, Remus' heart stopped beating for a short moment. They gutted him to his core, subjecting him to the same level of pain that he had inflicted on Genevieve as a cruel punishment. They tormented his thoughts and twisted his insides. "I was hurt." It was a depressingly simple phrase that contained so much malice for both the speaker and listener. Hearing those words hurt Remus more than any full moon, and saying them hurt Genevieve more than having to watch them.

Remus admitted, "I never meant to hurt you." He shifted his gaze to the window, not wanting her to notice his vulnerability. "I thought that by pushing you away, I was only hurting myself."

"You keep saying you thought," Genevieve pointed out. "So what do you know?"

"I know you and I are two extremely different people who have no idea who they are," Remus replied, "and I think - I know - that's what draws us together.  We're obsessed with understanding one other because we can't understand ourselves."

Genevieve's eyes glowed with a new kind of admiration as she listened to him. There was a reason why complex people who couldn't articulate themselves were her favourites: their minds were so memorising. "I'd have preferred it if you had said that," she said.

Remus looked away, a small smile on his face. He wished he had said that too. The compartment's door slid open. Stood in the doorway was a confused Peter, a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans in his hand, and an incredibly amused Sirius, a packet of cigarettes poking out of his leather jacket's pocket. They were in deep conversation, barely acknowledging how tense Remus and Genevieve were. "Have you guys heard?" Peter asked them suddenly, eyebrows knitted.

"Heard what?" Remus said, picking his book back up. "I barely listen to anything you guys say anymore, mainly because I don't want to be involved in something highly incriminating."

"Do we no longer get a hello?" Sirius remarked. "Not even a 'how was your summer?'"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I saw you last week," he stated.

"A lot can happen in a week, Moony," Sirius tutted, throwing himself next to Genevieve and lighting a cigarette. She scowled at him and opened the small window, to which he smiled sweetly back at her.

Remus hummed and flipped a page. "Knowing you, I don't doubt it." He frowned. "Where's Prongs?" he asked. "Not harassing poor Lily again, is he?"

"This is what I was talking about!" Peter exclaimed, "Wait until you find out mate, you won't believe it."

The compartment door slid open again before Sirius could explain. Lily stood in the doorway, her blazing red hair the first thing everybody noticed. The second was her stressed-out expression, her lips pushing downwards.

"Speak of the devil," Sirius said. "Evans, dear, how have you been? How was your summer?" He exaggerated, making sure to shoot a pointed look in Remus's direction.

"Remus Lupin," Lily started angrily, ignoring a severely insulted Sirius. "Why aren't you in the prefect's carriage? You have head boy responsibilities to fulfil!"

"Here we go," Peter muttered to Genevieve under his breath.

Shrinking into himself, Remus laughed awkwardly. He had always snickered at James's gobsmacked face whenever Lily cursed him out, but now he was on the receiving end of Lily's shouting he could understand why. "I really would love to join you Lily, but unfortunately I can't," he explained. "I'm not head boy."

"Rubbish!" Lily protested. She brought her hands to hips, ready to scold him, but stopped when she caught sight of his honest face. "You're not lying," she realized, eyebrows furrowed. "Well if you're not, then who is?"

A devious smirk found itself onto Sirius's face. "I'll let you take a wild guess, Evans," he hinted, looking around the compartment. "James isn't ill, or late, if you were wondering."

Remus placed down his book, realising. "No," he said.

Peter flashed him an agreeing look, his reaction more appalled but nonetheless the same. "Oh, yes," Sirius grinned, raising his hands behind his head. "I believe Dumbledore wants Hogwarts to burn."

"I would too after being headmaster for so long," Genevieve hummed. The compartment seemed too quiet for her liking, and she was quickly able to figure out. "I'm sure this revelation is extremely groundbreaking, and I feel left out that I haven't caught on yet, but I'm more concerned about where on James is is." She looked at Sirius, eyebrow raised. "Well?"

Lily's face dropped. "Oh, God," she said, raising a shaking hand to her mouth. "Oh no, no, no," she muttered to herself, hastily leaving the compartment and running down the corridor.

With concerned eyes, Genevieve turned to Sirius. "Now that you've broken Lily, can you please tell me where Prongs is?" she said.

"Genevieve," Peter said, leaning across to put a hand on her shoulder. He looked deadly-serious, something that unsettled Genevieve slightly. "Prongs is head boy."

Genevieve's laughter filled the compartment. "What?" she said, a wide smile on her face like she was sure Peter had just told the most comedy-worthy joke ever. There was a moment of silence, then Genevieve's face dropped. "What?"

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